i'm not even flirting, what do you mean? i just tell the truth i don't flirt🙂 habsdhvs no but i think it's cute that you thought we were best friends, we've only been close and interacting like this on the tl for a few months, i think rudy and sass and others are much closer to being considered cloud's best friends (in this kpop/online space at least) and kira and bean and others are who i would consider mine here. i guess you could say the cliche thing of soulmates/lovers are also best friends, but also i just think.. your best friend platonically speaking is a different thing to the kind of best friendship you have in your soulmate connection. yk what i mean? so it's endearing to me that you, or anyone, would think i'm clouds best friend platonically when from my perspective that's clearly the other people i mentioned who were around long before me jhdbshd i'm taking that as a big compliment thank you 🩷

the posting thing is personal preferences yeah, we have a Pred/prey dynamic i very much like to be the one chasing them and forcing them into acts of exhibitionism on the tl hjbsdhbs they post about me here and there and i like it that way bcs it's like a little surprise and a sweet gesture, but i don't really benefit from feeling pursued, so it would be unusual/not fit the dynamic if they were doing that all the time. i also think they don't benefit from being the pursuer. we both like when cloud feels like i'm constantly watching them and dangling them in front of others etc, it's fulfilling for us!

that's a good question abt jealousy, i think first let's start by drawing a distinction btwn jealousy and possessiveness. jealousy/envy is when you want something others have, possessiveness is when you want what you have to just be yours. in a certain specific way, cloud is mine. so i do have possessive and greedy feelings ofc, that's one of the things they like about me, but i'm also a responsible sane person who knows how to separate their feelings from the truth and not let it dictate their actions etc and knows how to covet their feelings for exactly what they are (which is to say, a personal experience). so, for example, if something made me feel a little possessive, i would just be okay with feeling that way shdbs it's fun, maybe i could even use it playfully to tease a little yk for horny purposes but it would never be a negative thing for me, certainly it could never be jealousy bcs i'm very self assured and i know what claim i have sdbsbh greed is just a feeling, it's very normal, and it doesn't manifest into my expectations of them. i also trust cloud implicitly and i want cloud to be happy, to have a good strong support system in their life, to have meaningful bonds, to get the most out of this life!! i want them to love and be loved!! you mentioned rudy specifically, i have sooo much respect for rudy and all the ways in which they show up for cloud, i can very much see why cloud cares about them and loves them so much. that's my alpha-in-law!! i'm really grateful for the bond they have i hope it lasts a lifetime, even though we don't really know each other they are certainly important to me, bcs they make my cloud happy<3

thank you!! i'm definitely far from perfect but i mean, hello, human being hsbdhs kind of in the job description.. i care a lot about learning though, my own and other people's, and i care a lot about understanding. not just others, but ourselves - sometimes conflicts happen bcs we don't understand ourselves as much as someone else understands themselves, and that can be a source of insecurity/shame for people. i think if i were to identify some kind of purpose for my life, it would be to use whatever understanding i have, and improve whatever understanding i have, so i can help others understand the world around them (and within them) too. so this was a lovely compliment!! mwah

hey anon! i just wanna let you know that i also feel like this often, that words are hard and getting my vision into words is so tedious sometimes, and it can make it really hard to progress on things at the rate that i'd like. here's the routine i have for myself:

first of all, make sure you're sleeping well and you're nourished and hydrated, and that you've done some physical activity today even if it's just a walk outside!! taking care of yourself is super important, and if you're neglecting something it can also make it harder to get in the right mindset.

second of all, if you have those things covered, open your doc and write something. don't worry about if it's perfect, don't even worry about if it's good. this is what drafts are for!! just write something. this is important bcs it helps to build habit, which gives you a strong foundation for your hobby. just get in that doc and blurt things out!! you have nothing to lose!! you might come back to these drafts later and have a eureka moment and suddenly realize how you want to alter things to make them better, just blurting out your thoughts and allowing them to be messy and imperfect is great for finding your footing, this is a step by step process sometimes and that's fine!!

thirdly, take breaks. if you blurt out some thoughts and you're looking at them and thinking "this isnt what i want" that's fine, that's normal, whatever you do: don't delete that draft. keep it, you might feel differently about it later when you've had some time away from your wip. you never know when inspiration might strike, and you'll thank yourself for laying down some groundwork bcs it means you don't have to do as much to get your thoughts out next time. writing things down imperfectly and revisiting them later is kind of like leading yourself by the hand, ykwim?

finally (and i'm shaking you gently by the shoulders when i say this); fuck other people's expectations. no, really. fuck them. who cares if people are waiting for an update? nothing is stopping them from imagining what happens next, from reading other fics in the meantime, from writing their own. there is no rule that says "just because you want something, you should have it". there is beauty in the wanting stage! it's nice to want! just for the sake of it. that's called yearning, or tension, or foreplay, it's a crucial part of the pleasure. so, just bcs people want the next chapter, doesn't mean you need to give it to them now, or ever. you're writing this for yourself first and foremost, this is your story, your hobby, your passion. do it for you, anon. it's not selfish, i promise you.

if anyone ever makes you feel like you're disappointing them bcs you won't give them what they want exactly when they ask for it, i urge you to think of them as a needy brat. and you're the topdom Alpha writer who knows what they need better than they do. they will take what you give them and say "thank you", bcs you're in control here. there's nothing wrong with wanting! let them want! let them wait. you got this anon i believe in you<333

yes and no sjhdbs that outcome is inevitable and the intention is very much there on both sides, but we are long distance and i wouldn't want to put the burden of a long distance relationship on them bcs the yearning becomes so much heavier, and i also would rather do a slow burn bcs i think it's important!! for building a strong foundation, and it's also better for them, bcs it's not a lot of sudden change overnight. so it will not be truly official until we've been slow burning for a while and i'm in a position where i can be like hey i just moved into your neighborhood for a job, i'm taking you out to dinner tonight~

one of the many ways in which we're compatible is that we both really enjoy the friends to lovers arc hehe it's key for us, so while i'm running around calling them my boyfriend and treating them how i will continue to treat them etc, it's all part of the slow burn romance, it's important that intentions and feelings are made very clear but also that we aren't rushing to the "next step" before we've had time to really bask in the place we're at currently :3

as far as emotions are concerned though, yes they are mine, and yes they would agree with me on this (and i'm theirs too, goes without saying)

you can think of this as like a big cat hunting its prey! the chase is ongoing but as far as the cat is concerned, that is his dinner, and the prey feels the inevitability of that too