hi hi!

hm, yeah, so as you know dddne is more of a concept than it is a label for certain types of content. I get that it's a tag on AO3, but I'm going to be honest I'm not entirely sure I understand why. Personally I think it's just something everyone should be doing if they're worried about what kinds of content they're consuming (checking tags thoroughly and being aware that what the tags say are what they're going to get). Not that I think using that tag is a bad thing, just that I don't think it's required or necessary as long as you're tagging major triggers.

However, it does get used interchangeably with terms like "dark" and "taboo" and yeah, it's extremely difficult to draw a line as to where something goes from "freaky" to "dark/taboo" and would even more so require the sort of care that dddne suggests.

I think if we had to define it, I would personally suggest that anything that contains a common trigger would cross that line. Like when it comes to consent for example, dubious consent (dubcon) covers a pretty broad range of situations and in general does not tend to depict super violent scenes. So, I wouldn't consider it taboo, necessarily. It can certainly be triggering to some people due to their own personal experiences, but anything can be at that point. On the other hand, rape/non-consent (noncon) is a very common trigger, especially for people with trauma of the same nature. So at that point, I believe it would be considered dark/taboo/dddne.

Some others I feel like probably go in that same category would be heavy violence/gore, death/grief & loss, incest, and underage in some contexts (like obviously a fluffy, sfw teen romance story is not taboo lmfao). So when people say it's up to judgment, I feel like this is probably the best way to judge. If you look at a story/trope and can reasonably discern a major trigger that could be involved, then that's where I believe something would cross the line into dddne territory.

I also think it's important to remember, again, that anything could be triggering to someone, so when we talk about things that are dark/taboo it can be good to take into consideration just how widely impactful that thing is. The AO3 archive warnings are a pretty good place to start with that, as well. I really think that's the only way to draw any sort of objective line, since things are so muddied when it comes to everyone's own personal traumas, beliefs, experiences, triggers, etc.

hi hi jagiya <3 ah, that's a tough one. I hate to hear you've been dealing with these feelings.

The first thing I'll say is that I think "good" is subjective. In many things, but especially with creative works of any kind. What you may view as good is very likely different from what someone else views as good. Now, that's not at all to discredit your feelings about your own writing because at the end of the day what's most important is that you're enjoying it and feel positively about it. From your message, it sounds like you're not. :(

One thing I'd maybe suggest is questioning the reasons why you're writing. What are your intentions? What goals do you have? For me, I write for fun. I also write because I enjoy the process. I love being creative and coming up with stories and including little things that feel personal. It's also a means to explore certain emotions and concepts. To consider things I haven't before or explore worlds and situations that are foreign to me. For me, so much of the enjoyment of it actually happens before the work is even seen by anyone but myself.

As for goals, a lot of it is internal. I hope to find some sort of fulfillment from completing a story that I crafted entirely myself. Something unique that didn't previously exist until it spawned from my brain. That's something that is so uniquely satisfying. To create something out of nothing but your own mind. I genuinely adore it. Another goal is to reach people in some way. For me, the point of posting my works is so that others can find them and connect with them on some level. Whether it just be that it makes them smile for just that moment, or whether it touches them on a deeper level, that's all I really want. But even more, I love the connection it can bring. I have met so many people just by posting my writing or even just talking about writing. It's something I find is really fun to enjoy with others. It brings people together who may have similar feelings or circumstances or who simply just want to enjoy their hobbies with others. So, that is another goal of mine when it comes to my writing. Self expression and connection with others.

On the topic of quality...it is so much easier to be critical of your own work than it is to be critical about someone else's. Truthfully, I think this is so common amongst writers and creators in general. I don't dislike my writing. I quite like a lot of what I've written. But, I very often do get in mindsets where I believe my writing is not very good. Overall, I don't believe it's any better or even on par with the writing of my favorite authors. Some people who love my writing may think I'm ridiculous for thinking that way haha but it's true! I often get very down on myself and think that my writing is not good enough and it will keep me from writing for a little while until I can stop hating everything I put down on the page. Put after writing and posting fanfiction for 5 years (wow lol) I have learned that this too is just part of my process.

Creating something and sharing it with the world makes us vulnerable. I know for me that vulnerability leads me to being overly critical of myself and anything I create. I hope this comes across more as encouraging than dismissive, because I do also think we are always improving as writers. I don't think there's a single person out there that couldn't continue to build their skills and get better in some way. But, I know even without reading your works that there is quality and substance to it. Because your efforts don't just go nowhere. You are spending your time, effort, and care creating something. That in itself is what makes it "good" in my honest opinion. Maybe there are things you'd like to be better at. Wording, sentence structure, story telling, world building, etc. And you can continue to work on these technical elements. But for me, focusing on the heart of the work is what really made me start to see the quality of my writing for more than just the words on the page. It's also about the message being told and the effort that went into that. It's about the intentions, the goals, the people it reaches, the impression it leaves on both the reader and the author. I promise you...there are people out there who read your works and cherish them. You may think there aren't, but there always are. Every work is for someone. I wholeheartedly believe that.

So on that note, you didn't really mention whether you socialize much with other authors, but that would be my number one suggestion on how to "get better" at writing. I learn so much from my friends and writing peers. Through things like beta reading/editing their works, to having them do the same for my works, to discussing plot and characterizations together, it really has given my stories the life they have today. I learn new styles, approaches, words LOL to add into my stories and I also become more confident in my skills. Finding people who are willing to converse with you in a mutually constructive way about your writing is genuinely such an important tool. They can offer reassurance that perhaps something you don't feel very good about or cringe when you go back to read it is actually good, and perhaps even help you discuss the reasons why. They could also help you tweak something you don't like until it is something you're happier with! It is all around just a very beneficial arrangement that I'm sure even professional writers engage in. No one gets it right on the first try, even some of the best writers out there.

Something else I try to do actively as far as writing goes is Turn. Off. My. Fucking. Brain. LOL. I overthink every word. It's very easy for me to do because I have this desire to make it perfect. But I find when I just forcefully shut down that desire and write anything that comes to mind even if it seems stupid, I end up coming up with the BEST lines in the entire damn story haha. I'm not sure if this makes sense to anyone but me, but I have found that it works lol.

I won't lecture you about patience, because you did mention you've been at this for a while. But for anyone else reading this, remember that it takes time to hone your skills. You can be doing so many things to improve. Writing constantly, reading, taking classes, etc. But it really does take time to get better. At anything, really. And what you do with that time is also important. Like, quality is more important than quantity, ya know? If you're doing the same things over and over, simply writing a lot isn't necessarily going to make you improve. For me, I tend to get in these lulls where I will get stuck in a certain style of writing and do it almost on autopilot and just feel like...bored with everything I put down. Because it starts to feel like it has no real substance. No heart behind it. It's just that: words. When that happens I try to switch my style up a little. Do something different. Like with my October drabbles I tried a bit of a style that was more vague. Used a lot more imagery to attempt to get my point across without actually saying things blatantly. So, yeah. My point here is that it's important to always keep trying new things! New challenges, even. Like, one thing I have done with friends in the past is write a 1-hour fic. You set a timer for an hour and write a story that you intend to post when the hour is over. It's a fun way to push yourself and to also practice just letting go and writing. Not over thinking things so much and maybe even by the end of it having something that is totally different than what you may normally write if you put more thought into it. More time to over think and micromanage your words. Is this making sense? haha.

Last thing I'll say (I promise lol). But I would even suggest daily writing studies. You know how artists swear by drawing something ever day? I think this applies to writing. You can find writing prompt lists online, and I'd suggest even doing some that are very simple. Like one word prompts. Things that don't necessarily inspire you to write a whole elaborate story lol but that you can maybe write 50-100 words about. Try to do so without critiquing yourself too harshly. Don't think about it too hard. It's about exercising your brain and your skills. Just seeing what comes out. Keeping yourself in that mindset of creativity and further honing how to use it. I think it builds confidence too. The more you do something the better you feel about it. These are also low risk, because they're not supposed to be perfect or even that good. You never have to post them publicly. If you look back on them and hate them, that's okay. They were practice anyways. They're not a reflection of your true skills, just a stepping stone.

Anyways, I hope this was helpful in some way. Please know that I am rooting for you so so hard. I hope that you never give up doing the thing that you love, and I truly do wish you the best in your journey to loving your writing. Because I think you deserve to. <3

The only point I ever made was that creators are allowed to tag however they want and do not deserve to be criticized, bullied, or ran out of fandom spaces for making that decision. Especially when they are doing so while fully informed of what that entails. Fanfiction is free content that people are free to read OR not read. It is created out of love and creators have every right to do with it what they will. Some of them choose not to tag for their own reasons. And unfortunately, due to this exact sort of situation, it can sometimes be so that their works AREN'T found by people who aim to attack them. Some tags are targets for people with nefarious intentions. If you’ve never experienced this, then I’m happy for you. But this is something I’ve been well aware of for YEARS of my time in fandom spaces. I have no regrets of encouraging creators to put their own comfort first. Because it’s either that or they give up their passions because others could not leave them be.

Where do I encourage people to abandon a “fandom social contract” by simply saying they’re responsible for themselves and what they consume? Both creators AND readers. THAT is how it has always been, both in fandom and on the internet as a whole. I believe tagging is a great thing! For many reasons! But I believe we need to take a step back and evaluate at what point does “encouraging to tag” cross a line into toxicity? And I have seen the toxic side of it first hand. People should not feel ENTITLED to demand this or that from creators. Because then we have people reading fics, interpreting it however they like, and demanding authors add tags that were never a part of the intended story to begin with. I’ve seen situations like that spiral into witch hunts and targeted harassment of authors. I have seen authors give up writing because people demanded they follow their idea of how to tag.

This is what is meant by tagging is a courtesy. Yes it is kind. Yes there are many reasons TO tag. But we have GOT to take the entitlement that tagging is NECESSARY out of the equation and learn to respect eachother while also navigating spaces the best we can for our own comfort.

I hear your point about sowing division in communities but what I’m also hearing is that you’re not getting what my point is. There is already division. Even outside of moments when this discourse resurfaces and becomes topical. There is pretty aggressive division every single day in fandom spaces and it is caused by the entitled of people when it comes to fan works and the way they approach creators. The point I made aims to bridge the divide. Mutual respect and personal responsibility will only bring about peace, while demanding everyone stick to what is considered “the right way” and “the way we MUST do it” will always create tension.

On the other hand, I do tag my works. Extensively. Both on Twitter and AO3. Which is my choice. For the very reasons that I think tagging is good. So, saying that I don’t respect people in this space with me is far from the truth. I respect them immensely, and that is why I would like for this discourse to resolve even in some small way.

hi!! sorry for the late response <3 I've been busy and wanted to make sure I did it justice!

please never hesitate to send me things like this. I really appreciate having these discussions. It's not a bother at all!

I have also seen the opinions floating around regarding the kinktober prompts. First of all, I don't necessarily think that you being able to see the reason in these points means you're impressionable. These are very complex and nuanced topics, so I think if anything it means that you're doing the necessary mental work to understand and approach sensitive topics critically.

I think going through feelings of shame regarding topics that are dark and uncomfortable is...valid and expected. They're considered "taboo" for a reason. In turn, this is what appeals people to them. Taboo topics are interesting because they're "wrong" in some way. As human beings we are complex by nature. It is natural to be curious about dark and immoral things, and exploring those themes can even be healthy. Fiction is a space where all manner of things can be explored in a safe way. When we say things like "fiction does not affect reality" what we really mean is that it is not a 1:1 impact. Of course you, as a person, can be affected by the things you read. So it is always up to us individually to be responsible for ourselves and approach media carefully. For example, I have a very difficult time with certain things that include heavy gore or animal violence and so I steer clear knowing those things will harm me emotionally. But I never fear that those things will make me want to emulate the atrocities in real life.

I personally do not believe that fiction alone is enough to twist your morals into something they weren't already prone to being. To me, it is the same as the violent video games debate from quite a few years a go. Playing video games where the objective is to kill people will not make you do so in real life. Games like Grand Theft Auto will not make you go out and steal a car lol. Do you see the connections here? Fanfiction depicting crimes such as noncon will not in turn...make you believe that rape is okay.

The climate regarding this sort of thing is difficult to navigate right now and seems to be getting worse daily. As far as I can remember we have never had this big of an uproar regarding Kinktober, which is literally a YEARLY fandom tradition. What HAS changed is the growing puritanical agenda in fandom spaces and the push for censorship of topics that will ultimately snowball into censorship of anything that is not considered conservative-approved.

I'm honestly really glad that you sent me a message about this because I really feel like in general we all need to be talking about it more. That, in my opinion, is the best way to find comfort. Those enjoyments are not going to just disappear. I truly believe that it's best to embrace them and find ways to enjoy them without feeling shame. It's healthy to do so by discussing these moral dilemmas with others who experience them and even by reading up on some of these topics in general (I will share some resources!).

I think so many of us who openly enjoy dark topics have went on our own journey with shame and hesitation. I did not just jump into fandom already being on board with everything. However, I am a naturally curious and open-minded person. So, I never felt much hesitation, but I have done a lot of mental work to understand the issues surrounding these topics and found peace with the fact that I am okay with enjoying them. I know myself, I know my morals, I know who I am as a person in real life, and I am confident that my fictional interests do not impact that in any way. I wish the same for everyone else, because it is a very peaceful existence.

Again, pleaseeee don't hesitate to send me any more of your thoughts/questions! This goes for anyone reading this. I am happy to answer questions and discuss this topic any time! This is a super complex issue with so many facets and there was no way I could possibly include everything in this one response so I hope what I HAVE said makes sense and is helpful in some way. <3

RESOURCES

I recommend looking through the pinned post on this account: https://x.com/purity_culture
They have soooo much good information regarding taboo kinks/tropes, including ones you specifically asked about! Just scroll through and you'll find a ton!

https://www.fujoshi.info/
I am always recommending this website because it is TRULY so helpful. You can find so much information on anti-fans and censorship, and there is even a research database that includes academic articles covering all sorts of related topics, including things such as taboo fiction.