I am not going to lie to you with every single round of this discourse I am less and less inclined to fight the good fight akjndkjawd it is just so repackaged every time. there is so much blatant and intentional ignorance. people coming into our space and morally grandstanding about things they actually don't know a single thing about but also refuse to actually educate themselves and engage in good faith conversations. at the end of the day it's never going to matter what we say, their minds will never be changed, and the best we can do is support each other in doing whatever the fuck we want to do anyways.

because it's genuinely infuriating to witness this level of misunderstanding and being completely oblivious to all the reasons why their points don't hold up!!!! or how it absolutely directly relates to other things THEY love and enjoy being condemned. like oh my fucking god you're exactly right!!!!! the same line of thinking goes along with queer media being censored and they are using the SAAAME talking points as conservative homophobes trying to shove all queer people back into the closet for good.

and im sorry but at this point I'm just using your message to rant but like…I genuinely so badly need these people to delete the twitter app and go immerse themselves in the real world and other media. MAINSTREAM media. popular media!!!!!!!! media that has been around for decades. I feel like I'm living in an alternate reality when I open twitter and I see these people so passionate about something that actually people off of twitter and away from fandom spaces would probably not think twice about. and if they do, they're usually at least like??? not fucking aggressive about it. most people genuinely do not care. something about being on twitter has rotted peoples ability to think for themselves and approach perfectly common topics in a normal way. like it is literally not a fanfiction thing. are they not understanding how many fanfic writers based their fic interests and the things they read/write off of OTHER popular media tropes that they enjoy? I do, anyways. I like the things I like because of the shows I watched manyyyy years ago (pretty little liars being a big reason for my student/teacher interest). anime that I've watched in the past AND present. a long fucking laundry list of BL mangas/manhwas that I have paid money for and read that have LITERALLY introduced me to these concepts. its beyond frustrating when you have yearssss under your belt of just casually consuming popular media and then when you dare to be consistent in the interests you've always had people are literally enraged about it kawnkjdwn

like at a point are they also just boycotting mainstream media? they're gonna have to boycott crunchyroll because I accidentally stumbled on graphic sex scenes between high schoolers by watching the BL they were advertising on their front page! they're going to have to boycott Netflix for hosting pretty little liars, a show that introduced me to romanticized student/teacher relationships between a high schooler and an adult! (as well as all the streaming services that NOW host it lol) they're DEFINITELY going to have to boycott pretty much every single major manga/manhwa publisher for the LIST of "problematic tropes" that they're introducing to an entire community of consumers to!!!!!!! and I have not even began to discuss the concept of horror fiction and true crime and that rabbit hole we could go down.

genuinely it is absurd when you actually sit down and consider it. which is why at a certain point I have to sit down and remind myself that we are living in this stupid fucking twitter bubble that is absolutely not representative of the real world. and when we step outside of it, yes there is still this looming imminent threat of censorship (which is easy to spiral over when you see just as bad it's getting) but at least we can find some comfort in knowing that real life and the state of media is nowhere near what is happening on twitter and in these fandom spaces where people speak with zero knowledge or experience and are only speaking emotionally or with every single bit of their opinion being formed based on other people's misinformed think pieces on twitter about the topic.

it scares me how conservative and puritanical fandom spaces are becoming. me personally I often just feel stuck and part of the problem when I see it and don't say something. but saying something just riles them up. and I often wonder if saying something only further solidifies their hateful opinions because they become defensive and stubborn. this is something I'd be interested in hearing others' opinions on. I always think it's important to speak up about things because it makes people feel seen and safe and less ashamed of their interests and beliefs. that's what people seek community for, after all. and I think it is SO SO SO important because it may be the only place they get that type of validation. I know just how important that validation is, too. but where does the line have to be drawn? at what point is the discourse no longer effective for either "side"?

idk kjanwkdjnw I'm annoyed and frustrated. anyways, yes, thank you for sending me a message and enabling my ranting LOL I was honestly already sitting here annoyed so it's nice to just say what's on my mind lol I was contemplating just sharing a bunch of resources or talking about media other than Kpop that I enjoy just to indulge a bit and remind people that there are other things out there but I came here first.

like I also just think it's important to remember that even if people are on their twitter account where they mostly talk about Kpop they did likely HAVE OTHER HOBBIES AND INTERESTS and for me that is very much the case. I do not base all of my opinions on kpop rpf discourse lol this is the first time I have ever in my life engaged with rpf directly, but before getting here I had already solidified many of my core beliefs years ago. so! I am quite confident, but also willing to listen and discuss and evolve, but I will not be doing so in response to people spewing mindless hate for reasons not even they understand.

acting morally superior when it comes to fictional media is genuinely just fruitless. especially when those "morals" don't extend to the way they treat actual human beings. or when they don't stop to think how their words and actions affect thinking feeling individuals other than themselves. I know what you mean…their words can be extremely dehumanizing and there's never a need for it. idk it just upsets me to see those things because I know how damaging it is. and I always just imagine the people that it's affecting silently even if they don't say anything. I'm very bad at not saying something in those cases. so, I guess I've just resigned myself to the trouble it ultimately brings me LOL if it makes others feel safe and validated in any way then that's worth it for me.

and I'm not perfect by any means. I have feelings and get frustrated and speak emotionally just like anyone else. but I do hope that people know I just want others to feel comfortable as much as possible. <3 thank you for telling me that it's come across that way to you!! it makes me very happy to hear.

I fucking love this because i LOOOOVE the opposite vibes they have going on here. jisung on the rougher side and minho all elegant and refined…jfc that's so hot kjnakjwnd

the silky pink ribbons made me think of aerial actually lol which I kinda think ballet dancer minho would be into. like maybe he is a pro ballet dancer and he's also been dabbling in some aerial routines and the first time jisung sees him do it all he can think about is how pretty he would look all strung up with those pretty pink silk ribbons. so he takes them from the studio without telling minho HAHAHA which feels very punk of him. just smuggles them out and when minho sees them back at his apartment (jisung insisted he tag along for a visit of course!!!) he scolds him for it. says those belong to the studio and that he can't just take things without asking. but he shuts up real quick when jisung spins him around and ties his wrists together behind his back and starts sucking on his neck.

jisung is probably like a feral animal when he gets to let loose with minho. surely minho is covered in bruises and bite marks and he complains every single time because he needs to keep his skin clear for performances. and usually jisung is pretty good at respecting it when it gets close to time for minho to be on stage but this time he's not even thinking about it. he's completely lost in how pretty the pink silk pulled taught over minho's body. and he is of course testing all sorts of positions. seeing just how far minho's ankles reach…if they can go behind his neck and stay there the whole time jisung pounds into him. and minho cry of course. not because he's upset but because it feels so fucking good…jisung can hit places inside of him that no one had ever been able to. because people always treat him like something fragile. like just because his dancing is delicate and dainty that he is too. but it's entirely the opposite. minho is strong as hell. and even though he could easily overpower jisung, he doesn't want to. he wants jisung to be rough with him, and he is. jisung has never treated him like he could so easily break. he pushes him to his limits at any and all opportunities and then continues pushing far past them.

mmmmm yeah anyways jisung fucks him raw and hard and makes him coming multiple times before coming inside him. he should also take lots of photos and videos of all the different ways he ties him up and how pretty he looks so that they can revisit it later hehe <3

extremely astute observation jagiya lmfaoooo

yes I and others have noticed this too haha. I wish I could say I'm surprised…but this feels like a pretty common thing around here at this point. and I realize it's because their motivations hinge entirely on what they believe suits them most at the time and not on any sort of well established values or beliefs. it is what it is. which is also why, as much as it's unfair and upsetting, it also means their opinions about me and my friends or anyone else do not hold much weight. when people are acting entirely in a way that is self interested above all else without any regard or empathy extended towards others, there are already such misguided motives at play that it's hard to believe it's really about me or anyone else or what we're doing at all.

I can only hope that those people learn and grow and realize that their actions do impact people other than themselves. and that they should care about that more. going online and engaging in these very public behaviors not only makes everyone around them miserable but it makes them miserable too lol. it can't be a fulfilling way to live by any means. on the other hand, there are plenty of people who are kind and supportive who welcome me and others into this space and those are the people that make the fandom worth being part of, despite the actions of those who work overtime to make it a miserable place.

YEAH YEAH YEAH OKAY OKAY ALRIGHT HELLO HI

//noncon, bitching, forced mating

oh my god the implication that normally he knows jisung is an alpha but maybe he's been longing for him for so long and wishing for jisung to be his omega. because he's like…look at him. he's so soft and pretty and he's practically made to be an omega. so minho's rut-soaked brain runs with it. he's so delirious and jisung's scent is so much sweeter than the typical alpha scent. this rut is particularly strong and he finds himself catching a whiff of jisung as he walks down the hallway of their apartment. and jisung isn't trying to conceal it at all because…why would he? they're both alphas. they've cohabitated during each other's ruts before and it's never been a problem. he would never expect for it to be.

he'd never thought about the possibility of something happening until the moment that minho stumbles out of his bedroom and pins him against the wall. and jisung is terrified by the way minho is looking at him. his pretty eyes go so round and wide and his scent spikes from the fear and minho looks feral as he presses his whole body against jisung's front, burying his face in his neck and inhaling sooo deeply. jisung can feel minho's hard cock throbbing against his hip where he presses against him and grinds subtly. he knows he needs to get away, and he tries. he really does. it scares the shit out of him when minho growls and bares his teeth as jisung pushes at his shoulders. somehow he manages to wiggle away, just barely, and he takes off running with no real destination in mind. just moving on instinct. (though, it's quite interesting that as an alpha his fight or flight favors "flight" over "fight" don't you think? hehehe)

but minho is fast, and jisung really never had a chance given how he's just…in their apartment. he nearly trips multiple times, bangs his leg on the coffee table, and he's screaming. telling minho to stop. to calm the fuck down. "it's me. it's jisung!!! hyung!!!" he's so fucking frantic, but it makes no difference. minho is completely gone. minho catches up with him easily, and jisung trips over his own feet he's so startled. he tries to scramble away on all fours but minho grabs his ankle and drags him down. it's a bit of a struggle, but minho finally gets him pinned to the floor, stomach pressed against the hard floor. he forces him into a mating press and jisung is crying and clawing at the rug and trying to wiggle his way out but he can't. minho is conveniently only in his boxers, which makes tugging them down to get his cock out an easy task. jisung's sweats and boxers are also easy to pull just below his ass enough for minho to force himself inside dry, eventually spitting a bit on his cock to help himself along.

his thrusts are punishing. it's uncomfortable as fuck for a long time and jisung is crying out and pleading and still trying to escape. but minho doesn't stop. he's gone completely mad and has absolutely no regard for either of their discomfort. it's a flurry of feral growls, smacks against jisung's ass, and teeth digging into the flesh of his neck and shoulders. minho has managed to rip the collar of jisung's shirt just to gain easier access to his scent. jisung is terrified he will bite him, but it's not like it will do much anyways given they're both alphas.

except with every knot inside him jisung's pleasure builds. after a while it starts to feel good. jisung's hips start pressing back against minho's thrusts. he starts whining a bit, hoping for more. hoping to be bred. his mind is so so fuzzy with a need he'd never felt before and he can't quite put his finger on it. so he just lets himself fall into it instead. minho is babbling against his neck as he fucks him "such a good little omega. so sweet, so tight. gonna breed you. make you mine." and jisung doesn't even have the consciousness required to refute him. just agrees "yes hyung, fuck. your omega. all hyung's."

by the third or fourth knot jisung notices that the slide is significantly better….that his hole is wetter. and the realization crashes into him like a fucking train that it's his slick. he's slicking. and minho is groaning so fucking loudly, gripping his ass with both hands and watching as his knot slips past his rim before inflating one last time. it's covered in jisung's slick, surrounded by a new scent that is so very jisung but is so much sweeter. and it's then that minho leans over him and digs his teeth into his scent gland, the feeling of something permanent coursing through them both instantly.

anyways yeah hehe I added some forced mating at the end because I'm feral for it. and I assume that when all is said and done they're both happy that it happened because they were both harboring the same feelings for each other and wishing for jisung to be an omega so they could mate HOORAY!!!! THANK YOU FOR THIS OMG ITS SO YUMMY I LOVE IT

You came to the right place with brocon and hate fucking 😌

I truly love it when siblings are so deep into the codependency and that regularly fucking eachother is just part of their normal. Maybe since Chan is older he knows that it’s not really like that, but he lets Jisung believe it is. “Jisungie this is just what you do when you love someone. And I love you the most. You love me too right?”

So when Jisung starts dating Minho he carries that same logic to that relationship. “Channie hyung told me this is what you do when you love someone” as he’s going down on Minho for the first time. And Minho definitely thinks it’s weird to mention his brother when they’re doing something like that. He says as much too. “Jisung don’t mention another guy when we’re doing something like this.” And Jisung is like “huh? But it’s just channie. We do this all the time too.”

And that’s what starts it all. Because Minho is immediately angry. In fact let’s say this is happening in Jisung’s bedroom at home and Minho happens to know chan is home at the time, so he storms into his room and starts going off. That he’s sick. How dare he do that to his brother of all people.

Of course, Chan has know about their budding relationship and has kept his own complaints to himself. He doesn’t want to share Jisung, but he supposes as long as they can maintain their own special moments that he can endure it. It would only backfire on him if he tries to keep Jisung for himself forever.

But this guy…he’s clearly more of a threat than Chan thought. So he starts getting all possessive back.

“Who the fuck are you? I’ve known Jisung his whole life. Loved him his whole life. You just met him. You hardly know him or what he likes.”

Jisung is obviously standing in the doorway panicking and has no idea what to do. But when Chan beckons him over, he goes immediately. He doesn’t resist at all when Chan pulls him into his lap, starts kissing his neck, blowing on his ear, and he’s doing so allll while staring Minho down smugly.

But minho is already in love with Jisung. Even if he hasn’t said as much to him yet, it’s still true. He isn’t going to give up so easily. What’s going on here is weird as fuck, there’s no doubt about that, but he’ll do whatever he has to for Jisung. He’ll fight for him, and he refuses to lose to his brother of all people.

That said, he knows he has to be careful. Because Chan is incredibly important to Jisung. In many ways, minho is afraid he’s more important than anyone else, himself included. If he doesn’t approach this tactfully, he could end up being the one discarded in the end.

Even so, he can’t just temper his possessiveness and the anger it conjures. So he lets himself mouth off a bit more. Goes on about how he and Jisung have a connection Chan could never replicate or understand. That he is important to Jisung too. And that their bond grew in such a short time. Well, that’s special. Incredible. Chan shouldn’t write him off so quickly.

And when Jisung scrambles to agree with him, wide eyes filling with tears at the overwhelming situation at hand, Chan’s expression flashes with something akin to worry. Even as he keeps groping Jisung, palms moving over his thighs, squeezing them, dipping between his legs, he starts to realize Minho means more to his brother than he thought.

Jisung squirms. He had already been worked up because of what he was doing with Minho just moments before this, and something about that makes Minho gleam with pride. It may be his brother touching him right now, but Minho got him worked up to begin with.

"Fine. If you're here to stay then you better pay attention." Chan is already moving Jisung's clothes out of the way, shoving his pants and boxers to his knees and his shirt up to bunch beneath his neck. His lips still graze over Jisung's neck, one hand playing with his nipples and the other fondling his little cock as it fills out and starts to leak. "There's no way he'll keep you around if you can't make him feel good, ya know. You should learn from an expert."

That pisses Minho off. Sure they haven't done all that much yet, but they've done some things. If it wasn't for Chan and his stupid, unnatural obsession with his boyfriend then they would've gone even further just a few minutes ago. But Minho has made Jisung cum. More than once. He's used his hand to stroke his cock, whispered sweet praise in his ear as he does so, degraded him just a little for how small it is. How easy it is to get him off. Jisung cums so hard every time. He writhes and cries and begs for Minho to touch him more. To kiss his lips. To mark his skin.

Yeah, Minho knows just how to make Jisung feel good. He doesn't need instructions from Jisung's brother of all people.

So minho says as much, and of course Chan doesn't like that. But Jisung chimes in. He starts making his case to Chan. That he cares for Minho. That they do what people do when they love eachother (which makes Minho's heart swell), and that he doesn't want Minho to go anywhere. He asks Chan to be nice to him.

And it's always difficult for Chan to say no to Jisung.

So as much as it pains him, he softens a bit. His touches become less frantic, his tone simmers just a bit. But before he can say anything to Minho directly, Jisung continues. He explains to Minho that Chan is important to him too. That he's not going anywhere, and if Minho cares for him that he's going to have to find a way to accept that.

It's difficult. Minho feels such a strong possessiveness towards Jisung. He wishes he could lunge forward and break Chan's wrists for touching what's his. But as much as it pains him, he realizes that Chan was there first. That if Minho attempted to edge him out, it would only be Jisung who gets hurt in the end. And he'll never do anything to hurt Jisung.

So he decides the only thing he can do right now is prove himself. He kneels at Jisung's feet, shuffles between his legs, and looks up with adoration in his eyes. "Okay Jisung-ah, I understand."

So, so soft. Always so soft with his Jisung.

It's difficult to hold that tame expression when Chan gazes down at him, fury in his eyes. They've both clearly established a mutual agreement: they don't fucking like this, but they'll do anything for Jisung.

So when Minho leans in to kiss Jisung's leaking tip, he sees Chan's fingers twitch. They're both touching Jisung together, in their own ways, but it feels like some sort of competition.

Chan has tricks, apparently. Because next thing Minho knows Chan's fingers are slipping past his lips and pressing down on his tongue. "You gonna let him in? Your mouth is small, but his cute cock will fit just fine."

Minho rolls his eyes. Yeah, he knows. He's sucked Jisung off before. He comes in what seems like an instant, too. Now probably won't be much different.

Which is perfect for proving himself, really. So Minho tempers his pride. Waits for Chan to guide Jisung's cock between his lips, replacing his fingers, and Minho sinks down.

It's easy to take Jisung all the way in. He's so small he doesn't even reach the back of his throat, even when his hips buck at how good it feels.

"M-Minho, ahhh." Jisung winds his fingers in Minho's hair and cants his hips again. He's cautious, since they haven't experimented quite that much with this, but Chan encourages him.

"Go on Jisungie. Fuck his mouth." Chan grabs his hips and guides him to thrust, smirking when Minho rolls his eyes. If he could speak he'd say that Jisung can fuck his boyfriend without his brother's help. But since he can't, he just hums invitingly, gaze focused entirely on Jisung's flushed cheeks and lidded eyes, letting him know it's okay to take anything he wants.

Minho relaxes and let's Jisung fuck his mouth. It's clumsy and Jisung's body trembles like he's about to burst any second, but Minho enjoys every second of it. Even with Chan's eyes on him. Even with the way his intrusive hands wander over his boyfriend's body. How he touches his chest and makes Jisung whine filthily. It sounds so pretty, even with the rage Minho feels about the situation, he still can't help how good it feels to hear his Jisung like this. To see the way his eyes roll back as his hips jerk and he comes down Minho's throat.

Minho. His boyfriend.The one he really belongs to.

But it's Chan who leans down and wraps his hand around Jisung's small shaft, tugging his cock out from between Minho's lips and stroking slowly. It's Chan who whispers words of praise into Jisung's hair as his body jerks and whimpers continue to spill from his lips. It makes Minho's stomach turn with rage, and he ends up tugging Jisung off of Chan's lap and catching him as he tumbles towards the floor. This of course enrages Chan also, and he starts yelling about him "being too rough" with his little brother. To which Minho smirks and responds "ah, but that's how he likes it. You must not be familiar."

Chan is genuinely seeing red at this point and clearly not thinking straight when he gets up, lifts Jisung off Minho's lap and throws him on the bed before tackling Minho to the ground and growling "I'll show you rough, you fucking bitch."

That's when all hell breaks lose. The two of them are wrestling, trying to assert their own dominance, and Jisung is crying at them from the bed to please stop. But they don't, especially not when their cocks start to rub against each other. Everything they had done with Jisung only get them worked up, and they're only human after all. The adrenaline of the whole situation definitely adds to it. They're spewing insults at each other, just any nonsense they can think of about how the other can't satisfy Jisung the way he deserves.

The whole thing escalates to Chan flipping Minho onto his stomach and rubbing his (huge!!!) cock against his ass, chuckling about how Jisung seems pretty happy with this part of him, and maybe Minho just needs a demonstration so he can understand firsthand. Minho is yelling and going on about how Chan's cock is no bigger than his own, which is true, but at this rate it doesn't really matter. After a bit more of a struggle Chan does manage to get Minho's pants pulled down to his thighs and fucks him, holding tightly to his hips so he can't get away. They're both strong, almost equally matched, but Chan outranks him just a bit in terms of muscle.

Despite the hatred Minho feels, it feels good. It feels even better when Chan flips him on his back and he gets a good look at Jisung sprawled out on the bed, eyes wide and glued to the scene in front of him as he furiously jerks himself off. He's feeling as competitive as ever. If this is what they're doing, fine. He's going to excel at it. Especially since Jisung is watching.

He manages to get Chan on his back and crawls on top of him, straddling his hips and riding him. Minho's big cock bounces uselessly and he smirks when he sees just how much Chan is actually enjoying himself. He makes some smartass comments about how he's not so tough. How he's just as useless when it comes to sticking his dick in anyone's hole, even some random guy he knows nothing about.

Anyways, they fuck and Jisung gets off again while watching them and in the end Chan and Minho still don't love having to share Jisung but the sexual tension between them after that day remains a bit explosive, and that's fun for all three of them LOL

I got so carried away omg this could be such a LONG fic in it's completed form actually LMFAO. Sorry I started writing this and then took forever to actually answer the ask but here it is at long last.

this is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ajksdnkjnd omg okay.

i'm obsessed with the camera idea. and maybe jisung checks it from the app when he's not home, too. just to make sure minho is being a good kitty for him. he can even speak to him through the camera. even scolds him if he's being bad (if he tries to remove the plug inside him or if he tries to touch himself before jisung gets back!!)

and kitty minho is probably the sort that likes to be ornery. he doesn't necessarily like doing as he's told but often he will just to save himself the trouble. but one day while jisung is out with friends he decides he's in the mood to be a little shit, so when jisung checks the camera he finds minho humping one of the plush toys jisung left out for him. no matter what jisung said or how much he threatened him with punishment, minho didn't stop. he just glared into the camera looking entirely unimpressed and kept slowlllly dragging his wet cock over the already soaked toy.

jisung excuses himself early so he can come straight home to discipline his kitty. he finds that at the very least minho hadn't let himself come. he was only doing it to rile jisung up and likely to get him to come back and spend time with him. minho's bell tinkles so cutely as jisung fists his hair and tugs it back, forcing him to arch his back as he fucks him roughly, slapping his ass and pulling on his tail.

yeahhhhhhhhh that's all i've got right now but omg i LOVE it.

sorry this response is so late HAHA

sorry I know this is an insanely late response KJNWKJND

it's refreshing hearing from someone with the same understanding of these topics!!

to your point about the sheltered upbringing: i will neverrrr pass up a chance to talk about this ngl because I was also very sheltered. born and raised in a very puritanical religious environment. truth be told I think I did a lot of confronting on the topic of shame and being upset by certain things before I really got very into the media I'm into now and DEFINITELY before I dabbled in fandom in any capacity. truthfully, even getting into BL was stepping outside of my comfort based on how I was raised and I battled a lot of internalized fear and shame for it at the beginning.

I often wonder if I had gotten into this sort of environment before all of that (when i was much younger) if I would have felt the same way as so many of these people. when things have made me uncomfortable in the past I never much remember them making me feel angry. mostly they made me feel afraid...like I would just sort of retreat into myself and avoid them as much as possible. but I know that is absolutely because of how I was raised and how my specific environment made me feel about things that are "wrong" or "evil" to some degree. I'm really so much happier and healthier now that I'm able to approach uncomfortable topics with more curiosity and a level head.

i really appreciate all your words here and your support...thank you so much <3 it's difficult dealing with the negativity and the attacks but I often feel like the only other option is to not be true to myself which I am just not willing to do. please know if you ever want someone to talk to or to find your way back into this space more publicly you can reach out to me any time!! <3

hi!! oh I don’t mind 🩷

truthfully I don’t think there’s really any “step by step” for making friends online. I think it’s perfectly normal and common to feel overwhelmed and out of your depth when you enter into a space you’re new to. even for me, I had been in online fandom spaces for years but switching over to skz fandom felt like a whole new world and it was scary at first! it took a lot of time to adjust. for me it was just a while of observing and cautiously interacting until I felt like I sort of started to feel a bit less out of place and more confident that I could open up a bit more.

when it comes to actually making friends though I think what’s most important is having your expectations and personal values in perspective. the internet is vast, and it can be a lot, especially in a fandom as big as this one. you’ll encounter a lot of people and it’s just not possible to click with all of them, and that’s okay. accepting that up front is so crucial, because otherwise it’s really easy to get discouraged. But there are certainly friends out there for everyone!! that’s where the personal values comes in. have a somewhat general idea of what sorts of people you want to surround yourself with. what opinions and interests you hope to share. what needs and expectations you might have for any friendships you foster here. considering those things up front makes it so much easier to navigate and to know where to (and to not!!) put your energy when it comes to getting to know people.

but most importantly, just be yourself. I know that’s a big ask and goes directly against the whole feeling like it’s “life or death” thing but I PROMISE you that more often than not the people you will want to spend your time with will be drawn to you for your authenticity. that’s the only way to foster genuine friendships. be open and honest about who you are and what you like and the people who vibe with that will follow. when it comes to boundaries, just do your best. as long as you’re being thoughtful and curious about the opinions and feelings of others then it will shake out just fine. for me, I sometimes tread a little lightly with new people until I get an idea of what they do/don’t like as far as content goes. like, if I’m replying to a post if theirs I usually will just say something in agreement with them OR if I know them better I will talk about things I already know they like. that helps a lot with the fear of being annoying/crossing any boundaries.

At the end of the day getting to know people really is a bit of trial and error. Awkward interactions are pretty inevitable but that’s genuinely okay! Nothing in life is totally smooth. If it were then we would lose so much of what makes life interesting lol most people around here are genuinely happy to have people interact with them, and I know it can be easy to feel like a bother but just try to remind yourself that’s why people get on twt and post to begin with! for people to see and interact! so there is nothing wrong or annoying about you doing exactly that. 🩷

and as far as finding people who share your brand of pervert, I’d highly encourage you to post about what you like on you’re account! That’s how I met most of the people I know now. I really just showed up to the fandom and started saying shit everyday until I met people haha. and interact with posts that you like! I promise that people are DELIGHTED to hear that you share an interest with them.

I hope this was a little helpful and not all over the place lol jshdsh I really wish you the best of luck!!! navigating online communities can be a lot but I know you’re going to do great and be just fine!!🩷