awwww anon ure such a sweet angel T___T this is the biggest compliment in the world to me <3 and hmmm good question! i took my mcat exam which was a grueling 7.5-hour exam and when i finished, it felt crazy to sit in the parking lot and digest the fact that this thing i've spent so much of my undergrad working towards and being utterly terrified of was sort of over (i might retake it to get a higher score but we shall see!). in all honesty, twitter was becoming somewhat of a dry rut for me and i feel like i was absorbing a lot of the negativity i saw on the timeline and it just added too much onto my plate. so that's why i had a detox! it was the first summer in a while where i didn't overwhelm myself with the pressure of making money because the impending deadline and weight of my exam loomed over me everyday, so i was also kinda lost but i spent a lot of my time volunteering at my non-profit organization (with the kids that i mention every now + then)! during the summer, i got to go on field trips with them so i saw a puppet show and we did a carnival on campus as a big wrap up to the memorable summer. i got award mvp at the end of the ending ceremony so that really warmed my heart :) after that ended, i had a few weeks left so i went back home because my apartment lease was up, and i spent time with my family + friends while mainly just drowning in physics and psychology terminology. made a cake for my best friend's birthday, watched some movies, and spent a lot of time creatively writing~~~ that was such a beautiful blip in time. i wrote like ~35k words in a week across a bunch of things i've been working on so that was great! :) thank you so much for asking and apologies for how long-winded this became. i hope you've also been doing well and taking care of yourself anon! pls feel free to tell me how you're doing as well <3

i would have to say that i only really stan riize and im a jaehyun solo stan. i keep myself pretty up to date because, in terms of music, personality, and the quality of the concepts they're working with, i find them most aligned with my taste. i do like 127's music and was a huge fan of them as well as the other nct units for a long time (2018) but i no longer follow them in the same manner!!! i've been in the k-pop game for a while, but i don't find the time/interest in learning about new groups very often. if you're talking about other group/idols whose music i currently + actively enjoy, it would be: xnghan, exo, nct wish, and a lot of 2nd gen misc kpop! in the past, i have had phases with svt, tbz, cix, and txt!

HIIII MY SWEET... i literally had to pause to smile and then try not to die when i read your message because it's just so saccharine that i felt like i wanted to cry... this is so incredibly kind and beautiful for you to say T____T ugh what can i say... it comes naturally in a way because i always feel so overwhelmed by special and genuine anton's words feel. like they genuinely strike something in me and a lot of other people, so much so that the praise kinda pours out of me. im glad people like you think i'm doing him some type of justice when describing and capturing the way he navigates the world/fan relationships :,) tysm ❤️‍🩹

an irl who doesn't know anything abt kpop asked me once why i like anton or what makes him different and i remember saying something like even if the words he speaks come from chatgpt, it doesn't change the fact that he's had such a positive impact on soooooo many people (like that one fan who says she's chasing her dreams bc she was inspired TT) but it just makes it worlds better knowing he's always speaking from his big ole heart full of love. how special is it that we have such a guiding idol to shine his line down on us when it feels dark!!!! i'm constantly thankful towards ntini :)

hmmmm.... if i were to describe it, jaehyun would be like my muse whereas anton feels almost like a peer? just because jaehyun is older and i've become more of casual fan because the schedules at this time and point in his career are much more sporadic but do not be fooled i love him down... i wrote an essay dedicated to his first solo album for my music class because it was that serious to me... i didn't play anything else for like 3 months straight but i just kinda want him to be happy and do whatever the fuck he wants whether that be making music, falling off the face of the earth and moving to milan, or dating since he's given so much of his time to us.

anton feels like a peer most obviously because of the age, but he continues to be such a huge source of inspiration for me with the way he navigates the world. sometimes i do sit and think about him being a nyu music production major and living a "normal" life, just as he does and the way that he's always trying to be grateful in spite of it all. i try to adopt those small things too.

he also makes it hard not to? with that one thought dump of his where he mentioned how we are all on our own paths, but still chasing things in a similar manner. i really really love that because even though i'm literally pursuing a career in stem and healthcare which couldn't be more different than him, i do feel more connected to him than other pre-med students. i would also say that because because i've become so much more interested in writing as it's been a major help in processing my thoughts, i love how much of a yapper anton is and i like that he's just so himself. his words don't feel fluffy, but just straight from the heart and directly onto his notes app or paper or whatever. he's always endorsing a living a life where you have as little regrets as possible and that thing that es said about sticking to his own values/not feeling like he's competing with others for anything and how he stays in his own lane. i've definitely adopted more of that mindset as i've grown throughout college, so i would say anton!

hiiii my sweetiepie!!! i'm doing okay! :) to be honest i do feel quite overwhelmed because my mcat is coming up soon and that's going to be a large determining factor of how my future will play out and i just feel like i can't get myself to sit down for long periods of time and take my studying seriously which just makes me stress out so much. in the same breath, i've been really enjoying going to work with the kiddos and have fun with them and be a person who actively shows up and supports them day in and day out. it's been giving me a large sense of purpose, and it feels nice to know that if this whole doctor thing doesn't go as planned, i can just become an npo baddie and work there LOL! i'm also feeling large amounts of gratitude for the lil community ive built on twt... all of the teenys and briize who love and support the boys. everyone who has been engaging with my writing/things i have to say makes my heart warm. this answer was quite long, but i hope you're doing well though! please feel free to tell me how you've been :)

this is such a philosophical question oh gosh... i had to think about this for a while when i was studying on how i wanted to answer. i'm struggling to answer this question because i'm not sure how often i really do feel free. i'm quite an ambitious person so i have my foot in a lot of doors and struggled with that guilt of not doing enough in the past, even if i was so spread thin. as i've grown up and developed more responsibilities and chosen such a career that demands so much from my early years, i think my self-awareness gets in the way of me feeling free. i'm too painfully aware of all that i have to do and complete in order to get to where i want to be that sometimes i feel as though i am a cog in the machine and i belong to an obligation beyond myself—like being a good daughter, navigating the competitive californian med school climate while being first-gen, and also wanting to pursue creative side hobbies to keep my humanity/sense of self alive. i had a thought while i was at work (i work at an npo with kids) and i observe them possess so much childlike freeness (rightfully so, they're like 8 LOL) and be so bright-eyed everytime they walk in even though they may be dealing with so much at home. i bring this up because i recently told my friends about how i can't see myself not working with kids in the future hence why i want to pursue pediatrics (and perhaps specialize further in psychiatry or something) but i feel free when i work with them because i enjoy it so much even if i do go home with a heavy heart sometimes from the things they confide in me that eventually overflow from their backgrunds. i never really believed in the "enjoy what you do and you'll never work a day in your life" because to me, everything is going to feel like a job at the end of the day. of course, being a doctor is so #healing and it's so fulfilling, but there will be bad days and times where it'll push you to the max. but i think that with kids, i'll be able to understand that phrase more and that's when i do feel free and excited for the person i'll grow into! in more simpler terms though, i feel free when i get to reclaim some time as my own. i'm not forced to be at that npo and i'm not currently getting paid as a volunteer intern, so all the time i spend there is because i choose to be there and prioritize it. i also feel free when i get a day to myself—when i get to cook and make my own meals, explore the city that i'm in for university, and see my friends and pretend that we have all the time in the world even if obligations are constantly knocking on our doors.

i'm so awful i took forever to respond to this ask... but i've lowkey been procrastinating because i just have so much to say about the both of them!!!!

i think that for me, i see myself being fans of both of them for a long time. they're kinda the same person, but in different fonts and i think their core personalities are what keeps me a longtime supporter. i used to be an nctzen in 2018, and then eventually it died off into me being only interested in jaehyun and his journey as an artist, but i've biased him for around 8 years now. i got into anton and riize in the beginning of 2024, and it's the same with anton especially. i don't know why i'm nervous that i'll come off as pretentious when i say this, but i just hold a very deep respect for them as people. for such a difficult industry, they seem to have managed their autonomy and their sense of self very well! what i mean by this is like i love when anton/jaehyun both don't allow themselves to feel pressure to do fanservice like ofc they do give us the aegyo burger every now and then but i love when i see jaehyun question a fan or say no when they ask weird things (which is how it should be but i think that there's something defiant about it almost... to refute that and go against the grain and almost cleanse ur fandom in a way??? like, in a way, it makes me think jaehyun/anton both don't crave having a large number of parasocial fans, but just some really good-quality ones.) don't know if that makes sense to anyone, but that's just something subtle that i like and see in them.

outside of them as kpop idols and artists, there is something refined about the both of them and the way they allow themselves to exist in a space of their own. like as much as they share with the fans, they also draw this boundary and it's obvious that they keep some things for themselves which i really respect/admire! at the end of the day, i love the way they see the world and would love to chat with both of them about their perspectives on life as a whole LOL!

when it comes to the both of them, i love that they're both so passionate about music in their own ways. it feels distinct from other idols who may just be doing this for the fame/money, but their connection with music feels so personal. anton grew up around his father and would put his ear down to the floor to catch a glimpse of his father producing away and jaehyun, similarly, growing up surrounded by his father’s guiding love for R&B, a grandmother who was a dancer, and a mother who taught him piano at a young age, there was no escaping quality music for the both of them! it feels like a natural born thing to them, but i also love that they feel interdisciplinary. they're always learning new styles and constantly sharing fresh sides of them i would've never known! i love that jaehyun drew his foot once to try out something and that anton watches predictive history and is always yearning to learn about the world! something random i also love is how kind they are with kids and how natural kids cling to them, i think that kids really are a good indicator of kindness/genuineness and it says a lot to me that they're both so naturally caring. i speak a lot about anton because as for anton, i just really deeply admire the way he sees the world. the way he translates his thoughts into such poetic words has also been a catalyst for how much i wanted to become a better writer. he really inspires me everyday to become a kinder person, and the same goes for jaehyun but he's become more of a longterm muse that i appreciate over time.