hmmmm.... if i were to describe it, jaehyun would be like my muse whereas anton feels almost like a peer? just because jaehyun is older and i've become more of casual fan because the schedules at this time and point in his career are much more sporadic but do not be fooled i love him down... i wrote an essay dedicated to his first solo album for my music class because it was that serious to me... i didn't play anything else for like 3 months straight but i just kinda want him to be happy and do whatever the fuck he wants whether that be making music, falling off the face of the earth and moving to milan, or dating since he's given so much of his time to us.

anton feels like a peer most obviously because of the age, but he continues to be such a huge source of inspiration for me with the way he navigates the world. sometimes i do sit and think about him being a nyu music production major and living a "normal" life, just as he does and the way that he's always trying to be grateful in spite of it all. i try to adopt those small things too.

he also makes it hard not to? with that one thought dump of his where he mentioned how we are all on our own paths, but still chasing things in a similar manner. i really really love that because even though i'm literally pursuing a career in stem and healthcare which couldn't be more different than him, i do feel more connected to him than other pre-med students. i would also say that because because i've become so much more interested in writing as it's been a major help in processing my thoughts, i love how much of a yapper anton is and i like that he's just so himself. his words don't feel fluffy, but just straight from the heart and directly onto his notes app or paper or whatever. he's always endorsing a living a life where you have as little regrets as possible and that thing that es said about sticking to his own values/not feeling like he's competing with others for anything and how he stays in his own lane. i've definitely adopted more of that mindset as i've grown throughout college, so i would say anton!