Yeah, you’re right!! To some extent, memory really is the strangest form of cannibalism, and it works in both directions.
We rewrite things without realizing it. Every time we tell a story from our past, we lose a little more of what actually happened and replace it with who we are now. It just happens.

But we also do it on purpose - especially when we lose someone. We hold onto their memories, little habits, words, even their pain. We keep eating those memories cuz if we stop, it feels like we’re losing them all over again. That’s why grief is so physically exhausting. You’re actively digesting someone’s absence just to keep going.

We can’t remember without changing what we’re remembering, and we can’t live without remembering. So we keep eating the hard parts too, cuz that’s how we survive.

There’s a rare condition called hyperthymesia where people remember almost everything - every painful detail, every ordinary moment. It’s exhausting for them. They can't move past things the way most of us do. Which makes me think forgetting isn't a flaw. It's kind of a mercy.

I still remember crying over something a long time ago. But if I really think about it now, it doesn’t even feel like a big deal. It was huge to my past self. I don’t remember what was going through my head - prolly a dozen things at once. All I know is that it mattered to me then.

This gave me a whole new way to think about it. Thank you for the Q - it opened something up.