AGGHHHHHHH good lord he is so depressed man. I know this dude has a thousand playlists dedicated to specific niche vibes and environments and i Know he has a good Three playlists for sad songs. i Know it. i'm certain martin has several songs he wrote when he was extremely suicidal (blue lips included) and i'm just Waiting for them to be released. he's so anxious and self-conscious and i think it's so awesome how Big and Tall he is because it never allows him the chance to hide whatsoever. God.

I think a LOT a lot about how martin has repeatedly talked about james changing his outlook on music and also on life in general. it drives me crazy. I don't think james necessarily brought him out of his depression because that's stupid and ridiculous (and martin is still depressed lmfao), but i think he feels indebted towards him sometimes because of how Stable yet also Bright james' presence is in his life. The way he described james as Red. Himself as Yellow. How james neutralized him to Orange. How martin described orange as his favorite color because of the nostalgia and the memories it evokes. they make me so fucking emotional man i can't i fucking can't.