good evening ash th1rdeye of ao3 fame~

I truly think about childhood friends chnlx on a daily basis. Typically I am thinking about them in the most melancholic way possible and I believe this is no different.

Like, imagine they DID meet at a music school competition and immediately hit it off,,, Chn thinks Flx's beatboxing is impressive and that he has great potential. And Flx thinks Chn is the Perfect Creature. They're still young enough that Flx has the schoolboy mentality of "I like that boy because he is the fastest boy in my class. Did you see him swim laps? Jump hurdles? Run the 1k? He is the only man ever." Plus Chrs sings and writes music too,,, calloused fingers from strumming a guitar with a dozen stickers from local bands on it. Flx is enamored to say the least.

I'd like to think Chn writes his email down for Flx at the end of the comp but Flx is so starstruck he just has Chn scrawl it with a Sharpie on the back of his hand and doesn't realize he's smeared it until he sees the blob of ink while he's showering. He has a good cry about it but then is determined to work hard on his Craft so that he'll impress Chn when he sees him next year at the music competition... except Chn doesn't come back the next year or the year after that. Enough time passes that Flx stops thinking about him and stops attending the music comp after the next year, too busy attending dance classes... getting scouted by strangers on FB to move countries in the name of idoldom.

If we're in canon comp... just imagine they do meet again as trainees. Flx bumbling right up to him all bright and sunshine despite the moody rumors about JYP's toughest trainee. And then of course, he immediately recognizes Chn as his childhood idol, his crush of his youthful musical summers. He immediately tries to explain about losing his email and how hard he's worked but Chn pretends not to remember him ;--; He's so jaded from being the only surviving trainee cycle after cycle that he doesn't want to think far back to Australia when he was a hopeful kid, admiring the freckled boy showering him with spit and smiles as he demonstrated his beatboxing skills.

Flx doesn't take it personally... at first. Chn was such a star back then... why would he ever remember someone younger like Flx??? Except he catches Chn in some sort of a lie,,, Chn referring back to something even Flx himself had forgotten about their shared summers. He's flattered at first but then hurt that Chn has pretended to forget. He confronts him about it but Chn denies it again, giving him the cold shoulder. Flx who has already been giving everything to be there takes it hard but stops going to Chn like before...

Eventually they all make it,,, even surviving the eliminations that almost broke Flx... they make it together debuting into a successful group but things aren't the same. Flx is more distant with him than he is the other members, doesn't cuddle him or go to him for advice. Chn tends to hear about Flx's struggles secondhand from the managers or other members and every time he thinks about reaching out, he holds himself back... filled,,, with regret