hi noni judi, i’ve been reading this message since yesterday along with another alter i’ve been holding on to answer properly. ah… you know, i wish i didn’t feel affected by what people say or my own doubts, yet it feels like… idk? have i failed in trying to build my characters? haha. maybe i have never breathed a life that is worth remembering in the first place into any of my stories. i do wonder if my account even reminds anyone of anything? i wonder if what i write is remarkable or mere seconds of passing entertainment. maybe disandingkan/disamakan dengan soksyongnen lain could have been an honor for some people, but for me it feels like a failure? haha. like i’ve just been writing something that people have something else in mind and i’m just an alternative? 😄 i know very well the other anon probably didn’t mean any harm, but i’ve been questioning whether papayahchany is something that people love or just read because there’s nothing else to read? haha so it kinda killed me when kakaksayangbayi is also being mentioned like it’s expected to be the same as other’s stuff. i wonder if anything i write is special or remarkable? i don’t even know. honestly i just want to wipe everything off and my mind keeps validating it by saying nobody will miss it even if it’s all gone. i feel like i’m incapable to write something good for people to remember hahaha. ah well, i’d never truly know the views of others, so i don’t actually know how others feel about it. maybe everything is just going wrong at the wrong time and adding up to the unhappiness i’ve been feeling lately.
and maybe someone like you is the reason why i’ve always held back in just completely stoping when i feel my writing is worthless 😄 thank you for the message, sorry for pouring this all out? haha. i’ll be back, not sure in what condition but i will be back. thank you for finding comfort in what i wrote. may whatever i write next can become your source of solace too, whenever that may be. be happy always yah noni. thank you.