the random guy at a bbq · 1mo
hi mister kappi this is kharon fan no. 27. how come kharon's seemingly so tightly knit onto staying at esf even after getting a Pretty Decent Idea their childhood is Pretty Bad? like. what Would happen if kharon ever escaped esf / they have the opportunity to but never had guts to do it themself? we had seen this happen to voyager (where shes promptedly hunted down and not only thrown back but also got put on a watchlist) but. How much would it matter to kharon. perhaps if they squeezed through maybe they can start anew as a different someone without a witness..., like the dream of the timeless moment they wouldve killed for
i um personally like to view it as an ongoing rabbithole of unhealthy sentimentiality. Age ridden walls whom had watch them grow up, each whisper old times when little legs run around to every nook and cranny. its like a bad study trip cutted up to nostalgic 1-hour highlights but instead of that your parents and teachers were actually trying to carve you to be a cogwheel
i think kharon would also be type to remembers faces by time significance too. such an obsession of reliving moments long gone should do a number on preserving the past! it can bring question to how kharon sort identity priority by baseplate. had they been there with them(kharon) when they were sweet and unnassuming? what would this mean for voyager? do they perceive her as the person she is now, -Or who she used to be, then who she is now, Then a friend? some type shit like "She whom i've shared my innocence with." unfortunately it also means every other recent face blurs off a hazy mess. they Do only go to them for mostly time afterall....
ive also been meaning to ask if we can get visual descriptions of ghostmarcher (mainly prime) family members. uniforms characteristics signatures etc. for so much of having the inner craving to gut your predators dead they seem to be taking wearing some bloodline-endorsing emblems well. unsure if theyre forced to by esf for them to be easier to track down, or a mildly unhinged superiority complex of "all of you rely on Me to preserve the mark of your existance. How lucky i am to be able to decide wether to pity you or not."... another win for high-functioning mental issues kharon!
-asides everything, hows your day going? my weeks been terrible and uuugghh asia temperature is so butt
hi kharon fan no.27
kharon would have left if they felt like they had options e.g, if kokytos was still a viable region to go back to they certainly would've taken the chance (they were meant to anyway!). however since that was out of the equation, they believed it’s too much of a hassle to be grappling with any of the other regions. it had something to do with their attachment to the past - so it’s right on the money. they found they cannot let go of these old items they have been surrounded by for as long as they could try to remember so easily. And they had a desire for martyrdom - it teeters close to a martyr complex, so that mildly unhinged superiority complex wouldn’t be too far off QQQQQ ;; they’re basically twinning with X - Kharon strongly felt like they need to be condemned for failing the people around them. TheyThink this is their personal goal that can be achieved. They also don’t like being seen as solely a victim – again, it’s ironic considering they don’t like being responsible for things … and they ended up stuck in a stagnant, depressive state. they were the kind of person to let things come to them instead because they insisted to themself that they’re not necessarily allowed to have control over their own situation “if the situation does not call for it” … whatever that meant to them
and lucky that the hypothetical isn’t a hypothetical because they do end up “escaping” the esf later on after the first arc of CTL III 🫠 the reason why they were let go this time when it happened was due to the events that occurred and it was therefore a different circumstance as opposed to Voyager’s sole departure. i dont think they can imagine themself to be starting anew without a witness, even if that is a fantasy to die for - if it’s too out of reach, kharon doesn’t see any use thinking about it. simply put they were too weakwilled to do much about this situation until the Arc Happened and something had shifted …
and the idea of kharon remembering faces by time significance would be pretty spot on ; a big part of their character is the idea of preservation: keeping an old camera they don’t want to look at anymore, having too much framed photos to count hoarded around their room, or any object really there, the fossilised remains they still go looking for albeit this time for their job - not for childish fun // for a case like voyager, i would describe it as a Relapse. I think here there’s a special circumstance for Voyager because of what Kharon has witnessed of her in the past, leading to them perceiving Voyager as the person she is now BUT how she used to be someone too. They find it relatable to their condition.
ah … yeah /.. maybe they’d go like “I’m sorry, who are you again?” to someone they’ve only met recently again , and then realising they came off as too ill-mannered lool
about the gm signatures, they have similar uniforms with dark colours, sometimes having bird-like motifs since they were all of meridian bloxxian descent. the uniforms used to look more like silky, delicate robes but came to be more modern overtime. something which is also recurring is the donning of a specific, handwoven garment that’s similar to the kanga garment commonly worn by east africans. the central design isn’t visible, but there’s a text inscription on it (a jina in kanga designs). Unfortunately i have lost the reference to kharon’s inscriptions jfgjfdgk i can try to find it later – for kharon it’s the red garment around their waist. its important to note that theyre multi-use, so it’s not only to clothe oneself
those text inscriptions are significant in terms of personal identity and also could be a vehicle of political/social/religious messaging. So between the ghostmarchers it was a way of communicating with one another in a more covert manner because much of the practices were enclosed in this way. it was generally indicative of their status too and the stage of life they are in
Kharon’s not forced to wear them by any means. there is some pressure here and there, but much later on kharon turns it to their own thing to reclaim instead of it being connected to the people who have hurt them. they'd still like to keep the connections with the GMs, though, since they believe it isnt something that can be erased from them or their identity - instead, they learn to work with it being there ……..
(and, well, there’s that martyrdom thing too. Not sure if they want to be the saviour or the one being saved! That sense of control derived from being depended on is a guilty pleasure , but they would never admit it out loud, since they also hate it at the same time)
ty for the questions 🌸 my week has been going better than expected qqq, ive been indulging a little too much into false memory and now my wallet is wasted LOL ;; hopefully i can earn it back before it gets worrying T_T
