the random guy at a bbq · 6d
mister kappinator6000 im deathly ill of the kharon disease and need 50ccs of kharon stat
is there a more elaborate thing to kharon's relation with their family? I assume they already have a deep affliction with esf since young hence the (also presumably) automatic distribution of the ghostmarcher title; that's also the Super Exclusive thing Exclusive to family bloodline only, but the crumbs are like.......... Complicated????........ like they still suffer survivors guilt cuz of it but they also Kinda don't fw their family??? or as in the thought of seeing another someone as one??? sorry it doesn't reallay make sense
then if they're the only surviving family member to hold the Super Exclusive inheritance title, that kinda instantly means she's valuable, right? sole survivor = more awareness = more protection = more attention = kharon chemical reaction = "I don't like being pestered please go away". I love everything about kharon and how they carry the representation of someone who gets constantly pushed into public eye/characterization by the direct hands of family reputation. this one is biased but I also like perceiving them as an analogy of someone who relies on exterior acceptance(friends/close coworkers) to ensure themself they are worthy to keep around (hence their very apologetic and respectful nature) (basically making yourself behave to "cast bond" to those you look up to) while anything more pushes them to damage instead. I like to think they're secretly incredibly selective and nitpicky to who they want to interact with. It's like a double-edged blade
wow u basicaly got kharon right on anon I’m very delightedAhhNoo!! We’re losing them!!! Anon please!!!! Come back to us!!!!,!!!!!!!!!!! Nooooooo!!!
on the other hand, ~670 wordy kharon stuff incoming:
there’s a deep brooding dislike they have towards their family because of that enforcement of the role. they were a child who felt apprehensive about being around the persistent activity of other people’s presences. worried a lot about not having time to do the things they wanted to do, and was pushed and pulled around by the people around them + basically had barely any privacy to themselves because of it / the compartmentalisation of their feelings & emotions were very much enforced for them to be as perfect as preparation to becoming a highest order. and it happened indeed. led them to becoming rather isolated as an adult and also not knowing how to deal with moments of emotional extremities anymore
This process was also incredibly rushed for Kharon in particular with the early-than-expected death of the previous G.M, and it was like “well since you can’t really learn it without her, and with the absence of (some scriptures) you might as well still become a H.O cause everyone who’s been a G.M has had a H.O streak” as per nepo baby perks While still having to prove themself worthy. And subsequently they were struck down with the horrific incident, survivors guilt & viewing it as a total moral failing thus directed all blame inwards because of that prior feeling of aversion towards their family & relatives - “This is all my fault. It happened because I wasn’t good enough as a child and as a person.” They weren’t the only ones Kharon had lost, and it most certainly affected other people around them, one of which being Vesper who Kharon considers their first ever friend. It would be traumatic anyway because if experiencing, as an 18 year old, the death of many people on your birthday Initially assumed to be a preventable incident, the inevitability of survivor’s guilt is most certainly there. Kharon I’ve played these games before and I was already borderline suicidal this makes everything worse Uwimana Ghostmarcher
revelation (same one they had at 14 but blanked out and forgot about it) - a side of their family endorsed and inflicted covert abuse under controversial beliefs That simply went under the radar because the system did not care. Kharon was a victim. So were many others at Kharon’s age , above and below. So at this point they felt so incredibly lost and frustrated about it, fluctuating between love, indifference, hatred for the people who raised them. The complicated love stems from the undeniable warmth of being cared for // the fact that they had people who said they loved them and realising they weren’t as lonely as they are now. their parents were supportive, albeit part of that gratitude has just been chipped off overtime. And they went through all of that being closeted
In secret, they endlessly wish to remain in a secure spot, in their own fantasy, / Was comforted by the idea that they need to experience the actual consequences for their actions because of how much grace they’ve been given by others , which is why they end up doing some questionable things later on.
Corvus actually helped them realise some stuff about their childhood because Corvus has been well aware and closely acquainted with the Ghostmarcher family for a while now. their early mentor-apprentice relationship can arguably be seen as close to parent-child, considering their respective experiences, but if hypothetically asked, both would also deny this perspective - Kharon’s reasoning being: They don’t deserve it and they don’t have one anymore What use is there trying to rebuild something like that for themself anywayThey can find comfort in other things!!!! Ialso dont like talking to people anyway!!!! Gah…. Yes Kharon does not really want to see other people as family (yet in the end. can’t help it)
bee tee dubs, knowing that youve known some stuff from the toyhouse, i actually cut off a section of their description detailing a section of their personality relating to their lore Because I really wanted to rewrite it and I … Did not/Sorry. But not sorry. Thank you for this question :-)
