the best advice i can give you is: push yourself and push past it. find an idea that really sparks joy and get into it. writing is an exercise, and often a habit. i feel like at the beginning, you have to force yourself a bit to break through that barrier so that later on you can turn what you write into motivation and further inspiration. there's just no other way around it. write as much as your brain and your time allow you. try not to think it's bad — it's always bad at first! i always say that the first draft doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to exist! and then you can take care of it, edit it, and make it satisfying for you as an author. you might get stuck, especially if you're out of practice. i usually already have the whole outline done when i start writing a fic, so i know what comes next — i either push through the scenes i'm not inspired to write and make them garbage and then fix them, or i just skip the scenes and work on some other one that i know i can finish writing without any issues. i'm not sure what your system has been up to this point, but if you haven't done this, maybe give it a try? i also i think that reading might be helpful! it always is for me. i pick up a book i feel like i'll love and enjoy the story but also try to think: why do i like it? how does the author make me feel this and that? even with books i don't like, i try to analyze why it is that i don't like them and what irks me. it's good practice!

as for what to do about other people, i fear that the only way to go here is lowering your expectations. easy to say, i know. i'm so bad at this!!! i'm an attention whore. i want people to like what i post!! obviously everyone cares about what other people think about their work!! but first and foremost, you should write for yourself. other people are secondary. they will come with time, and their response will always surprise you. first, think about what you're writing. most of the time it's the easiest for me to not overthink what people might say when i write something that i want to read. something i know i will come back to and enjoy like it's my first time seeing this story. and i want to read something good, so obviously i have to work hard to make the fic good. i think that in the end, you're your own harshest critic, but as long as you can enjoy what you write even a bit, it's already a success. so find the idea that you think is missing from the community you're writing for. or maybe there's a fic you've already read and you wish there were more like it. what exactly is it that you liked about it? how can you evoke that same feeling in people? is it the setting or the characterization or the funny banter? it's like that "two cakes" meme. i feel like most people are just happy to have new fics to enjoy. there are always people who won't like what you write, that's obvious. no matter how good you are and how many people love your work. you will never be able to satisfy everyone. i think the most important thing is, like i said, knowing what you like and writing exactly that. even if the beginning is disappointing, if you practice and pour love into it, i'm sure that sooner or later you will see that it was worth it. i keep my fingers crossed for you. i understand the struggle, and i'm really sorry i can't help any more than this. if you need anything, don't hesitate to reach out to me though!!