the best advice i can give you is: push yourself and push past it. find an idea that really sparks joy and get into it. writing is an exercise, and often a habit. i feel like at the beginning, you have to force yourself a bit to break through that barrier so that later on you can turn what you write into motivation and further inspiration. there's just no other way around it. write as much as your brain and your time allow you. try not to think it's bad — it's always bad at first! i always say that the first draft doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to exist! and then you can take care of it, edit it, and make it satisfying for you as an author. you might get stuck, especially if you're out of practice. i usually already have the whole outline done when i start writing a fic, so i know what comes next — i either push through the scenes i'm not inspired to write and make them garbage and then fix them, or i just skip the scenes and work on some other one that i know i can finish writing without any issues. i'm not sure what your system has been up to this point, but if you haven't done this, maybe give it a try? i also i think that reading might be helpful! it always is for me. i pick up a book i feel like i'll love and enjoy the story but also try to think: why do i like it? how does the author make me feel this and that? even with books i don't like, i try to analyze why it is that i don't like them and what irks me. it's good practice!

as for what to do about other people, i fear that the only way to go here is lowering your expectations. easy to say, i know. i'm so bad at this!!! i'm an attention whore. i want people to like what i post!! obviously everyone cares about what other people think about their work!! but first and foremost, you should write for yourself. other people are secondary. they will come with time, and their response will always surprise you. first, think about what you're writing. most of the time it's the easiest for me to not overthink what people might say when i write something that i want to read. something i know i will come back to and enjoy like it's my first time seeing this story. and i want to read something good, so obviously i have to work hard to make the fic good. i think that in the end, you're your own harshest critic, but as long as you can enjoy what you write even a bit, it's already a success. so find the idea that you think is missing from the community you're writing for. or maybe there's a fic you've already read and you wish there were more like it. what exactly is it that you liked about it? how can you evoke that same feeling in people? is it the setting or the characterization or the funny banter? it's like that "two cakes" meme. i feel like most people are just happy to have new fics to enjoy. there are always people who won't like what you write, that's obvious. no matter how good you are and how many people love your work. you will never be able to satisfy everyone. i think the most important thing is, like i said, knowing what you like and writing exactly that. even if the beginning is disappointing, if you practice and pour love into it, i'm sure that sooner or later you will see that it was worth it. i keep my fingers crossed for you. i understand the struggle, and i'm really sorry i can't help any more than this. if you need anything, don't hesitate to reach out to me though!!

i have lots of love for translators in general because i study languages but when it comes to my own fics i just don't like the loss of control that comes with someone taking my work and translating it and posting it somewhere else and then it's out there and there's nothing i can do because what if i change my mind and they think i'm a bitch for wanting it deleted what if i want to take down the og fic or change it and then there's this another version floating around and what if it's translated horribly and doesn't get my point across. idk. i used to let people do it and i've only felt sick about it even if the anxiety is unfounded. there are plenty of people commenting on my fics in different languages which makes me think they might also be helping themselves with translators as they read so. if someone wants to read it then they can read it like that #sorry

i think i would keep it to myself. and tell a few trusted friends, definitely, because keeping this a complete secret would actually eat me alive. there's also the question of who the other idol is. do i like them? do i even know who they are? if it was someone i liked i would probably go crazy insane. i would probably tweet vague shit supporting them or something or make one of those joint content accounts like the person who made one about jenkai and then they ended up being a couple fr ahahha i mean, i just don't see anything good coming out of giving something like that to a news/gossip site on a silver platter. i feel like even if i was crazy, the monetary compensation for a news like that wouldn't be "worth" it lol at the same time i feel like gathering evidence is just too much of an invasion of privacy and different from, like, seeing them out together by accident and snapping a picture, so i'm like i have follow-up questions!!! heh though i feel like this is implied, i respect them as human beings and i love them so i wouldn't want to hurt them this way. i can't help but think about the repercussions of revealing something like that, all the backlash and fandoms arguing and being weird. also i'm under the impression that every time an idol couple is exposed for dating they break up almost immediately and that's just sad!! i think i'd tell like 2 people and trust they wouldn't tell anyone lol