nonnie · 11d
Hi! I'm so happy to see more of your writing on ao3, I hope you're well!!
I was having complicated thoughts on pretty boy and after reading the newer version I could't help myself from reaching out... I just want to say that none of this is meant to criticize you in any way, I love your writing so so much and the way you build a story! So everything I say is in a sincere, curious way...
When I first read pretty boy I felt so very conflicted cause the story evoked a very ugly feeling in me that I didnt know I had until right then. I know it sounds super exaggerated (I thought so too at the time) but while reading the first version of the story, somewhere along the middle of it, my heart and breathing really did pick up in a bad way and I had to stop myself from reading cause I was having a bad physical reaction to it. Something about Soobin having all that trauma and Beomgyu assuming he would be there for him and Bug regardless of it without ever even seeming to try and discuss it with Soobin (and obvs Soobin ALSO not communicating it but, again, he's the one trying to make sense of everything! He's trying!) idk it really bugged me in a really really bad way to the point of almost panicking too.... Propably something I should unpack with a therapist ngl...
ANYWAYS I felt a bit bad for feeling this way cause from the comments and on twt no one seemed to be sharing the same emotions?? So i just put it behind me and decided not to think too hard on it. And when I saw the update on a new version I decided to not read it. But uh... well... curiosity won the best of me in the end🙈.... And! I was pleasantly surprised!! At first I felt the same ugly feeling popping and I was about to click out of the tab. But the way you lingered more on Soobin's feelings this time really felt ...comforting? His trauma does not feel as glossed over this time?? And the last scene omg I know this is bad and believe me I do want soogyu to work it over but the relief it gave me was immense.... Like I felt it in my body...🥲😭 I feel that now that this has been addressed, Beomgyu knows that maybe he didn't approach this correctly and, also, Soobin can now start to work through everything more consciously.
Anyways, I could talk about it forever cause it's very interesting to upack and think about both their povs. Again, I'm sorry if I offended you in any way, I really don't mean to do that and just ignore this message if you wish to do so! Just wanted to share my thoughts! And maybe say thank you cause this new version seems to be giving me closure LOL. Thank you❤️🩹 I really love your writing regardless and thank you for contributing to the soogyu tag!!
firstly! i absolutely take no offense at all. that was actually a really big problem i had with the first version is that it felt too flat? like there wasn't any "angst" and it felt like they didn't really work for it despite them both being flawed characters in different ways — soobin with his trauma and refusing to speak up about it, and beomgyu with just overstepping boundaries (without soobin acknowledging they're boundaries either) and just assuming that soobin is going to be there. like to be quite honest, i hated pretty boy. like i literally said that when i posted it the first time. i was in the authors note talking about how much i hated this fic but i felt like i spent too much time writing it to not post it and then was surprised that everyone loved it so much. because i simply did not.
after taking a lot of time from it (and reading like 20 books between version 1 and 2) i realized what my problem was with it and completely reworked the story to make it fit my original vision better so it makes me very happy that someone else noticed / pointed it out!!
because now this isn't something that got brushed under the rug and soobin would probably have a mental breakdown years from now (in OG pretty boy) because his ass never addressed his trauma, now they actually get to work through it.
so i really appreciate you sending this message it means the most to me.
and same, i definitely felt anxiety the entire time i was writing it and then when soobin popped it felt like a relief too so i get it a hundred percent.
thank youu 🤍🤍🤍
