I feel like it’s less about others finding bg desirable (that’s a given) and more about bg himself realizing and feeling confident in his desirability that makes sb a bit insecure. when you date someone very attractive, a perfectly secure person might think, ‘it doesn’t matter because they chose me,’ but in reality most people aren’t that secure. there’s always a human fear that someone objectively attractive could consider other options.

I don’t think sb feels bg is out of his league, but there may be an underlying fear tied to bg knowing his own power, especially since sb himself finds him that way. I’ve said before that sb seems to take satisfaction in his role as caretaker, in having bg rely on him. but when someone becomes more self-assured, they appear to ‘need’ you less, and maybe that’s part of it.

sb sometimes purposely says the opposite of what he really feels but he’s implicitly and explicitly admitted that he thinks bg looked good at soundcheck and that he finds bg more attractive since working out. Yet he’ll tease or mock-complain about it, like when he commented on bg wearing more sleeveless tops lately. these moments come across as sb’s clumsy, almost childish way of coping with feelings he can’t express directly, which boil down to: ‘I notice you. I notice you’re attractive and more confident now, and it makes me feel things.’

and importantly, he never does this when bg is insecure. then, he reassures him right away. it’s only when bg is confident that sb teases, and bg is strong enough to keep it playful. when bg calls him out for trying to keep him in check, sb doesn’t deny it, he exaggerates the bit instead. that’s why this dynamic works for them, because they both know exactly where it’s coming from so it feels like a form of flirting even.

I dug through my inbox to find this ask because it touches on something I’ve been wanting to talk about lol. I’ve answered before, but probably not in much detail. I first got into xtx in 2022 through their music, and when I started watching their variety content, I was immediately drawn to sb. there’s a saying in kpop fandoms that your bias is usually the member you see yourself in or identify with most, and that was the case for me. Not perfectly of course, but I resonated with his mindset and personality.

Naturally, I zoomed in on sb’s interactions while getting to know the group, and that’s how bg quickly came into focus. It was obvious they were the closest members, that sb considered bg special, and bg’s attachment to sb was both clear and very endearing. Their teasing and communication style was also just fun to watch. So there wasn’t one defining moment, their bond stood out right away, and I started shipping them casually.

By late 2022, though, I started sensing a tension between them, not from specific events at first, but from the vibes. The first concrete moment that really made me think there might be more going on was the flower challenge. After that, it snowballed with their talk about future plans, the puppy comparisons, and many other things. Little by little, their interactions began to feel too layered to fit neatly into the category of friendship, and the quality of their moments felt noticeably different compared to earlier years.

The reason I’m revisiting this now is because I’ve seen people mention how the sgyv community feels undersaturated with sb-bias sgyvists, so I thought maybe I should be more vocal about that LOL. Because honestly, I got into sgyv largely through sb’s perspective. I probably would have grown attached to bg on my own anyway because I agree with th that bg grows more charming the more you get to know him, but part of why I came to love bg so much is because sb loved him, and through sb’s eyes, I came to see why he cherishes him, until bg became just as important to me as sb.

Sometimes i get asks accusing me of “glazing” sb or putting him on a pedestal, but that’s not the case. I just tend to unpack him more because sb often requires it. I guess his care isn’t always obvious for some people on the surface, unlike bg who expresses himself more directly. To me, the way sb loves, through what he does and doesn’t do, what he says and doesn’t say, shows a level of investment in bg that he doesn’t show anyone else. Of course, like anyone, he isn’t perfect in how he expresses it. But for me, as a sb bias, becoming a sgyvist felt inevitable.

hmm… I think it depends on how you define “golden age.” in some ways, 2025 really does feel like it, since this is the year soogyu as a ship finally gained wider recognition and isn’t really considered “underrated” anymore. it wasn’t always like this, when I first joined sgyvtwt on a private account back in 2022, there were maybe (with a bit of exaggeration) only around 20 of us. the community has grown so much since then.

if we’re talking purely about the amount and type of moments though, I’d say 2024 was their peak. the emotional charge between them felt the strongest then. with friendships that carry an undercurrent of attraction, intimacy, or romantic tension, it’s normal for that “charge” to ebb and flow over time. even in platonic friendships people go through cycles of closeness and distance, but in homoerotic friendships those cycles are layered with desire and ambiguity. that makes the highs feel especially electric and the lows more like a retreat into safer ground. the tension never disappears, but it shows up differently depending on context and what’s at stake for both people.

in my opinion, that tension was at its highest in 2024, when it felt like they could’ve pushed things over the edge but didn’t quite cross that line. right now, their dynamic feels like a mix of different phases from the past few years, but I’m hoping we’ll see the tension build again in the near future.

aww no worries, I don’t mind at all! I can’t pretend to give the best advice without knowing your full history and dynamic, but my two cents is that there’s really no single timeline everyone has to follow. relationships move at different paces depending on what both people want. some couples get married within 6 months, while others stay together for years without thinking about marriage. what really matters is whether you and your boyfriend share the same vision for the future, and whether you feel fulfilled and valued in the relationship. for instance, if you know you’d like to be engaged within a few years but he doesn’t see marriage on the horizon at all, or if you can’t picture a long-term partnership with him, that could be a source of tension and worth talking about. but if you’re on the same page about what you want, then I don’t think there’s much to worry about. it’s okay to just let things unfold in a way that feels right for both of you.