omfg first of all i wanna say thank you for this ask. like this is rlly awesome LMAO i genuinely do not have the words! ig it means a lot that you’d share these thoughts with me. also it’s nice to know i’m not THAT insane when i say this shit. but anyways! to respond to all of this. the first point abt longing for queerness in this fandom… yeah man. like you said, a lot of onces are definitely gay, but they’re not necessarily queer. there’s 100% a distinction and, yeah, a lot of this fandom isn’t queer. a while ago i was rlly kinda upset abt the fact that, despite me putting my All into my fics, certain stuff of mine just didn’t get read. and someone brought to my attention that part of the issue is just… how queer i make my fics. like as oomf put it, “we write dyke shit for dykes” 😭 and that’s not a bad thing! but it definitely isn’t what a lot of onces are looking for at all. i’m not afraid of making the girls queer or trans. a lot of my experience with being a lesbian myself is related to my gender- like butch isn’t just a label for me, it’s my gender identity, too. and idk if you get that anon, a lot of people don’t, but a lot of my feelings towards lesbian gender identities do come out in my writings. and i wish other people wrote abt it too. the last fandom i was in waa rupaul’s drag race, and the fics over there were wildly fucking queer!! but a lot of that is bc the show and the culture surrounding it was obviously insanely queer. so i think the jump from that to kpop in general has rlly been a bit of a culture shock to me 😭 it’s kinda sad to me that more people aren’t doing that stuff over here but… yeah this fandom is. rlly cis. shrug. and yes i do not think all of the members of twice are straight. i cannot help but assume bc like, statistically… but also bc yeah they do act gay as all hell with each other!!!! ANYWAYS!! moving on from this point, i do hope people start to write more queer twice fics lmao.
but you mention jihyo being someone who you feel a kinship with when it comes to gender expression and, for me, yeah it’s jeongyeon. like specifically 2022-current jeongyeon lmao. i have a lot of feelings abt this topic and i don’t really know where to start with them lmao! it’s just complex. on one hand, i know she’s been open about the fact that she was uncomfortable being forced into the girl crush concept- as you said, i’m sure that was an insanely isolating and uncomfortable period of time for her, and i’m sure she’s still dealing with lingering shit from that period of time. but on the other hand, y’all, she genuinely is everything i want to be as a butch. like it’s not even abt her masculinity when i say that- jeongyeon has a ridiculously butch personality. i read something once where a femme author interpreted butches as steel wrapped around velvet- on the outside we appear to be so tough and scary, but once you get to know us we are sweethearts, we are caretakers. and to me that’s very jeongyeon. i think a lot of the time onces are really obsessed with trying to put her specifically into one singular box, and it’s… well, aggravating, to say the least. that’s also just not how humans work. i identified as a trans man for almost 7 years, i still have a lot of trauma from that period of time in my life bc i was forced into a box that i’d never be able to fit into, and i am so sure jeongyeon feels similarly to that in her own way. also: i gotta say that genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, i love seeing her be so open with her femininity lately. like she looks so comfortable and confident lately, and i cannot express just how happy it makes me. i would never go as far as to call her a femme (bc like, if y’all know anything abt lesbian history and identity, she just isn’t one lmao), but with that being said, i wouldn’t outright say she’s a butch either. like fr yeah it’s fictional. we shouldn’t impose labels onto idols. but i think a lot of people in this fandom equate butch and masc with man so badly that they’re trying to make jeongyeon out to be something she isn’t (to me anyways!!). and this is where i say that it is insanely isolating to be a butch twice fan, esp a trans masculine one. some of the people who read this probably won’t get it, and some people reading this might be angry abt it- but, yeah, this is my identity, these are my feelings, and i find so much comfort and safety in jeongyeon bc she’s relatable lmao. this is an incredibly butchphobic fandom. if you read this and feel disgust i really implore you to consider whether or not you feel grossed out by butches and why, if you do. shrug. i won’t get into it much further bc then we’d be here all day but trust me, there’s layers to it that i’m not mentioning rn (her weight is a major one) just for the sake of me not keeping you here all day lmao! i agree she’s reclaimed her masculinity and she’s turned it into something that makes her happy and comfortable- that’s something i had to do, too. at the end of the day i love so much about jeongyeon, more than i could ever say, and i am just so grateful i found her when i did.
as for momo, chaeyoung, and jihyo, yeah i agree with everything you’ve said! they’re all both masc and fem in their own ways and it is honestly really beautiful to see lmfao. i really love how chaeyoung carries herself specifically. she’s got such an androgynous sense of fashion and it even translates into a lot of her art, imo! after jeongyeon she’s probably who i feel the most kinship in terms of gender. mohyo are the futches of the year to me- they combine both aspects so damn well and ugh it’s so hot. i am so happy to be a lesbian. i will also say that mohyo (and jeongyeon!) specifically bring me comfort bc of their nd traits as well, but that’s another conversation lmao. moving on to your final point- the whole hot take to begin with- about twice being queer. well yeah. i think queer people are just drawn to art in any form, esp performing arts, and that’s what this whole thing is at the end of the day. you mentioned how an inherent part of their job is being feminine, and it’s like, yeah, duh! it played a major role, esp early on in their career. i’d love to hear more of their thoughts on it if they ever shared any, though with how conservative korea is as a country, i doubt we ever will. even though some of it is definitely imposed on them by the nature of being in an idol career, it’s nice to see how every member of twice has grown into their own unique femininity over the years. and with that being said, yes, i 100% believe that for some of them it is definitely queer! and yeah i do think some of them are queer!! shipping aside, lmao. it’s like, for example, i’m a big fan of shinee- key isn’t just gay, he’s queer. i’d say that about many male idols tbh, but i don’t think it gets said enough abt female idols. the only one that pops to mind is yves. whatever she’s got going on isn’t level 1 lesbianism, yknow? LMAO. same with moonbyul from mamamoo. idk. i think bc twice is so popular, they have a certain image to keep up with, and jype is a bit afraid to let them branch out of it (which is another reason i’m so happy chaeyoung’s album turned out the way it did). obviously now i think it’s less strict- like idk man jihyo’s bisexual ass killin me good performance was insane to see, and i think it was definitely on purpose. man i haven’t even mentioned nayeon on this ask but yeah trust me she’s in my mind rn too. idk, at a certain point, is it still fanservice? or is it actually THEM expressing themselves? anyways. i’m gonna chill here now bc i have to leave in a sec but! thank you so much for this ask, and thank you so much for giving me the space to yap about my own queerness in relation to twice, along with my thoughts abt their own queerness. i could def say more if you’re ever interested in hearing it! i got a whole ass degree in literary theory with a specialization in queer theory, i constantly read up on gender and sexuality studies, etc. this is something that rlly excites me and makes me happy. and this felt cathartic to write out and put out in this space lmao. so yeah anon you’re awesome and this was rlly nice lmfao. hope you’re having an amazing day ok ily <3