Anyanymous · 3d

While you said you don't align with ABDL, I'm curious if you (in a more seiso/theraputic context) age regress? Most of the nyans seem to represent different traumatic times in your life, so I wonder if you ever let your mind return to those ages to work through grief or imagine "second chance" scenarios?

A good question... I'm not sure to be honest, I think at least partially..? I remember my therapist stated that I age regress in the "textbook medical way, not the online fetish community way", according to her at least.

When I was younger, I definitely acted a lot younger than normal- wetting myself/the bed until high school aside, I didn't know how to tie my shoes until I was a teen, my mother had to bathe me until late high school, and my only friends were my cat and all my stuffed animal plushie friends... I didn't know any sexual stuff until my teens and even then I was afraid and grossed out by it (I still have panic attacks when I see it), I was very non-verbal, I mainly watched cartoons, etc etc..

I used to age regress a lot in high school I think, especially in online chat roleplays- I'd always like playing young characters or age-regressed older characters, I really liked how pure and cute it was.. but then I got taken advantage of a lot in those days and it kind of left a foul taste in my mouth because of how sexualized the other party made it (this is the "explored my kink and made characters wet their pants to seem gross and unappealing so people would leave me alone" thing I mentioned last post)

Part of me likes the idea of regressing, and I don't know if some stuff I do constitutes or not. I bought a pacifier for anxiety, but it was too big for my mouth and too awkward so I never use it (I do suck my fingers, but mostly just by nibbling/sucking on my knuckles if anything). I like dressing cute and in pastel colors. I wear diapers 24/7, though mostly medical ones or simple designs. I don't necessarily think I need them physically, but my therapist recommended me to ask my doctor for them for mental health reasons and my doctor gave me the prescription, so there's that?

I do miss the roleplaying aspect from my school days, but I feel like it's a door that's closed to me.. it doesn't feel comfortable to do anymore unfortunately, I feel too awkward and cringe and don't think that will change.. I think my art and OCs have a lot of age regression elements, though- mostly because I think these things are cute or are based on my childhood of acting immature for my age, I really like the dissonance of someone older struggling to act their age- not like "adult as baby", but like, "teen as early childhood" I guess, someone who's still learning and developing but not hitting milestones or struggling to keep up with their peers and being stressed and humiliated about it to the point of isolation and self-harm. I like nyan-failures, essentially~

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