Let us assume that both cases are correct. Whether it is a punishment or not ultimately depends on one’s interpretation. For me, however, it is not. If waiting for and searching for someone as radiant as that star is a punishment, then it is a beautiful one — and I would accept that punishment time and again rather than experience nothing at all.

I am someone who considers every possibility in each decision I make. Once, I tried to turn away from that star’s radiance, yet something always felt amiss whenever I did. My life seemed empty. Incomplete. I wake each day from the same dream of him, only to be met with an aching hollowness. It may be that my star will never return, but how could I possibly stop myself from waiting when he is the one who gave me salvation? How could I stop when my heart seeks his warmth, when I cannot help but be drawn to his light? For now, I choose to let him breathe by loving him from a distance.