i just took a brief look at it and i did take notice of quite a lot of mistranslations (mostly from misreading and misunderstanding the jp grammar structure)

idt i’ll go into details abt all of them bc 1) grammar technicalities are boring and 2) i personally don’t feel rlly good w giving unsolicited criticisms so w that out of the way, i’ll only be listing the major ones that twists the meaning of the original

1. “till the end of glory” ← 栄冠の先まで: 先まで = “as far as / up to beyond the point of ..…”, not “till the end of glory.” 先まで here means to be beyond (something), i.e. beyond the state of victory or past the crown of victory. it doesn’t mean “end” in the sense of final
   this translation also changed the topical object (栄冠) into an adverbial endpoint idea and grafted it onto the next clause (“Flap your wings..... till the end of glory”), which mis-parses the noun phrase as a time/endpoint phrase it isn’t.

2. “We're managing that irritability at times,” ← 焦燥感だって時に乗りこなして: 焦燥感 = anxiety / impatience / sense of agitation, not simply “irritability.” using “irritability” miscaptures the emotional nuance: 焦燥感 has urgency/frustration nuance

3. “The thunder that can be drawn and erased,” ← 掻き消せる雷鳴を: this being translated as “drawn and erased” which is wrong. the verb is 掻き消す (かきけす) meaning to wipe/drown out / to brush away / to blot out (a sound/noise). 掻き消せる = potential “can drown out.” so this phrase is describing a thunderous sound that can drown out (the siren), not “drawn and erased.”

4. 見逃さないで！: translated as “So don't take your eyes off me!”, this is entirely wrong. 見逃さないで = “don’t miss / don’t overlook / don’t let [it] slip by” bc the object is implied (見逃す reference = the thing just mentioned: the signpost/opportunity). it’s not “don’t take your eyes off me.” that’s a different phrase (目を離さないで would be more like “don’t take your eyes off”)

5. 目の覚めるようなこのセカイを さあもっと拓け！: 目の覚めるような modifies このセカイ → (lit.) “this eye-opening SEKAI.” then 拓け is an imperative: “open / break open (it)!” so structure is (object phrase) + imperative, it’s not “As if I’m waking up, now, towards that SEKAI ..… clear the way.” this translation misread 目の覚めるような as a first-person simile (“as if I’m waking up”) when it’s an adjectival simile describing the SEKAI (XようなY structure). op forgot the important bit of the phrasing which is the 〜ような (like, similar to, feels similar to, etc.) structure

6. 加減なんて必要ないさ: 加減 was translated as “make adjustments,” but context tells that this 加減 is restraint/moderation/holding back, not a neutral “adjustment”. grammatically either meaning is possible, but context and なんて必要ないさ (dismissive) favors “moderation/restraint” i.e. “no need to hold back.”

7. 掻き鳴らして Ensemble ワンパンで: this is lyric fragmentary: 掻き鳴らして (te-form “strumming/struck loud”), then Ensemble (gairaigo) then ワンパンで (“with one punch/one hit”). the english translation here treats this as a noun phrase (“A strumming Ensemble, with a single punch”), but jpn is presenting actions/commands / descriptive phrasing, a better way to parse this to reflect the original is: “(We) strum out this Ensemble, in one hit.” the te-form connects to the following action; it’s not a supposed to be a simple noun phrase

8. ここは眠らぬ Maze さあ中心へ: this was translated as “Here, within the center of this sleepless Maze” but the jp (literal) is: “This place is a maze that does not sleep; now, (head) to the center” (ここは topic “here is..…”; 眠らぬMaze = “a sleepless maze/maze that never sleeps”; さあ中心へ = exhortation “now, to the center”) this got inverted into “within the center,” which is incorrect

9. 騒がしいほど速く動けるんだ: “We're moving so fast that it becomes noisy.”: 速く動けるんだ is potential: “(I/we) can move fast / are able to move fast.” the translation rendered it as progressive “we’re moving so fast” (present progressive). the nuance of ability (〜動ける) differs from ongoing action (動いている)
   騒がしいほど = “to the extent that it’s noisy / so noisy that ..…”, the structure is [騒がしいほど] [速く動ける] meaning “i can move so fast (that it’s) noisy” / “i’m capable of moving at speeds that would make it noisy” the translation “we’re moving so fast that it becomes noisy” is close but changes ability → actual action
   also “we're moving” versus potential nature of statement and tone (“i can move so fast that..…”)

10. 溢れ出すほど注いでも: this is conditional: 〜ても = “even if..…”. 溢れ出すほど注ぐ = “to pour to the point of overflowing.” so the meaning is: “even if i pour (so much that it) overflows..…” and not “the more it overflows, the more I pour in.” the translation “The more it overflows, the more I pour in” changes the dependency and direction of action: it turned a conditional “even if” into a comparative/proportional “the more..… the more..…” which is a different grammar (〜ば〜ほど or 〜ほど〜 patterns would be used for “the more…..the more..…”)
    注ぎ足りない: 〜足りない means “not enough / insufficient.” it’s stative, meaning “it’s not enough (no matter how much i pour)” but “Until I no longer have enough” changes to a temporal/result meaning which isn’t correct. it should be something along the lines of “it’s still not enough” or “i still haven’t poured enough.”

11. ほら まだまだ居場所はあるだろう: this was translated as “there’s a place we still haven't reached” which isn’t correct. 居場所はあるだろう = “there is still a place/space/role (for us).” it doesn’t mean “haven’t reached.” 居場所 = “where we belong / our place.” this changed existence of place → destination not yet reached, which is a semantic shift
    歌声響かせて繋いだ居場所が！: this phrase is exclamatory: “the place we connected/tied together by letting our voices resound!”, the translation “It’s connected to our singing voices that are resounding out!” flips the grammar: it turned 居場所 into something connected to singing voices (passive idea) rather than 居場所 being modified by the verb phrase 歌声響かせて繋いだ (“the place that (we) connected by causing our voices to resound”). in jpn the verb phrase modifies the noun, this translation made it an independent clause

that should be all of the major mistranslations. there are other errors and mistakes but they’re not as serious as these and mostly just need a lot of adjustments (due to misuse of prepositions to other basic jpn grammar understanding errors)