hi!!!! thank you so much!

yes ok to answer your question........ i think of kei as like a victim AND a perpetrator of the kind of systemic violence that happens within the idol industry. in the beginning especially i think he was absolutely exploited, abused, and victimized by the company and I-Land's structure in general. regardless of his age, that environment would be harmful to anyone. this isn't unique to i-land but is especially awful. the isolation, the pressure, the competition, the constant criticism, the lack of autonomy, the live voting aspect... it's awful. all of it. i was a boys planet watcher and then i watched wild idol and peak time and pdx101 and came away with the impression that survival shows have to be the first thing to go when idols finally unionize. they're genuinely so cruel.

so when it comes to kei nowadays, i think he was groomed a lot by the industry into accepting that "this is the way it's always been" and that the system works because it's the thing he went through and he did improve. and so i do think now he seems to function as a sort of member-manager of the group, because while he isn't the leader he does often control the flow of information, the vibe of their content, and the way they show themselves to the world. he also seems to have some control behind the scenes when it comes to the interpersonal relationships of the group. i think in all of this he has to uphold the harmful aspects of the idol system that educated him and honestly helped him succeed because he was willing to part with his autonomy and individuality. and so i do think the sides of him that are more problematic (like his temper, his pridefulness, his spitefulness, his instability) have been repressed and the useful sides of him (his tendency towards overworking, his vanity, his drive, his ambition) have been nurtured by the environment he's in. that extends into the power he can wield over the group.

so i feel very complex feelings towards him. i don't think we've seen anything to suggest he's actually harming anyone in &t but just as a baseline i think he drank the HYBE kool-aid and i can't respect that. and tbh especially now with the boycott in place i super duper can't respect it. i also just think his vibe is bad? lol. like if i met him i wouldn't like him. but i do think he's extremely talented and special and interesting. so it's really a mixed bag of feelings about him. those feelings were super helpful in writing this fic because they're why i can write such a nuanced and complicated story. if i really liked him and thought he was Just a Victim i don't think i would have been able to write mop.

thanks again for these interesting questions!

yayyy yes i agree i think people think im just jerking off to this problematic age gap situation and lets be clear even if i was i think thats fine and not evil. but the whole fic is answering the question "why is it so bad if ktaki actually start fucking?" and i think in a way im agreeing? with these people? like i agree ktaki would be morally reprehensible if it happened irl. i think we WOULD have to kill kei with hammers. but the thing is that its fake!!!!! its not real!!! my fic isn't prophetic, it's fiction! i dont make ktaki fuck by writing them fucking. idk its so funny. people can't think this way i guess. but thank you for this message im glad you're engaging and enjoying it <3

omg i admittedly didnt listen to lush that much so i didnt realize mitski has a longterm relationship with pearls ooooomg.... thank u for the rec and im glad u liked the playlist.

we can talk about the ending if you want to get spoiled! you can come dm me about it. it might change a little from whatever i tell you but it will end a very specific way i've envisioned for a while.

i've been having taki call kei hyung to reaffirm and reestablish their dynamic and kind of bring him back to himself, his role, his responsibilities. i think taki does it without thinking but its like hes asking kei to be the older one again and to manage his emotions better. thats why i keep using it. in real life taki only calls kei Kei-hyung but he rarely calls him "hyung" alone, and it's pretty much exclusively when they're doing content in korean. i think its funny that kei-hyung got exported but "hyung" itself did not--a real product of their relationship mostly taking place in korea in the beginning. i think thats also why they're so touchy with each other in a way that, tbh, a lot of the other japanese members are not. like, honestly, &team are not a super touchy group naturally, but og4 are definitely the touchiest (besides yuma, who is groping people which is sort of a whole nother thing. lol) and get touched the most. imo i lived in korea and i've visited japan and korean culture definitely is more touchy and affectionate especially between men. so its interesting to think about og4 in that environment, learning that touch was an important part of their relationship marketing vs the other five who spent some time in korea but mostly just for the show and definitely are not as touchy as a fivesome. like i think all the touchiest couples in &team include an og4 member. wow thats a huge ramble. anyway its cool to think about how korean culture and social behavior effects the group even though all of them are not korean except euijoo (and he's so repressed).