a writer of discomfort <3 (fka: primalism) ♠ read the carrd link below for about/feed/updates.
512
little primalist · 11d
your playlists 🥹 are we getting some taekook from you? i cry
little primalist · 11d
Does "pink matter" follow a storyline or is it just smut?
If you want a specific story inside you can request. But it is mainly soft jimin and jk things. I do not plan to make him aggressive. I think i have one where its a bday with memories and adding Yoongi in that one. Then there is one with soft dom JK and Jimin being a little bratty/bad. Pink Matter does not have to follow Jimin as a very young boy. He can be older teen, etc. if a reader wants that. They can be around atleast 5k minimum or more. Moreso, not a storyline but a theme. I am writing this (as in my author's note) to give myself something in between the heavier content.
little primalist · 16d
How many languages do you speak?
little primalist · 16d
Why don't you have a beta reader?
Hello. There are none available, especially none that would read my type of dead dove that I write. Not everyone is open to that and I don't necessarily need one - I just like to have one. The one I used to have didn't do it for free and was quite expensive. Some of the plots he helped with, those fics have not came to light yet. I do like discussing my plots with my current supporters, so it helps :)
little primalist · 16d
You didn’t answer some of my questions. Was it because they were personal? Age doesn’t take away your anonymity
Hello anon, respectfully, I am not obligated (no one is) to give there age writing ao3. But alot of people know this already because it used to be public on my carrd and my twitter. To me any detail is personal, which is why I am don't have a twitter for my ao3 anymore. And, where I am now with my writing, yes, I find these questions personal unless I want to share it. I only share material to those who I speak to privately and are also adults. Age does not take away anonymity, but I would prefed to not repeat information on why I take anonymity seriously.
little primalist · 16d
no shade to other writers but it is obvious you are an adult. your writing is far better than most and shows experience in your work.
Hello. Well... I mean, what does "adult" mean in context to y'all? Because there are writers about 20 or 22 and write very good. I think experience is what helps, but you have to have an innate desire to write. Let me tell you my process is a tedious one when I am doing multi-chapter fics. It's not about writing process, for me - I have to make sure consistently does the work make sense. I am actually too nervous writing some content and sharing because if I genuinely do not understand my outline or find the tiniest little plot holes then someone else might see it. 😂 It really isn't fun forreal, I would prefer a beta-reader. I used to have someone to analyze my plots and outline which was top tier helpful. Anyway, thank you for the compliment? 🖤 I really do not think being an adult changes everything but I do think it comes with how a person writes there work and all styles aren't the same.
little primalist · 16d
In your 30s?
little primalist · 16d
Are you actually a psychologist? I wanted to do major in psychology too. I think that's so cool that you're educated in that field
Hi Anon. Nope. But degree(s) I have in it, yes. I am pretty nerdy about the topic in the past because also a student, I was constantly absorbing information on it. I felt and was once very passionate about it. I am not sure about choosing that as a secondary field to be in because the field has its flaws and also has caused enough issues to me. Due to AO3, everything about me I keep private mostly unless for those a little close to me.
It is nice. I think I lucked out getting some of the best professors to educate me. My personal opinions fall a little deeper to social work than strictly being a therapist, but that is a long story. I just think psychology in my experience leaves out a lot of core cultural context and world issues that gets missing from deeply knowing patients and meeting them where they are. I desire some part of me wants to go back get licensed for social work or therapist that has soms core specializations. I still have time if I want to ever go back to it.
little primalist · 17d
it really was just tiny joke agggh i didn’t mean to worry you about that i was actually trying to do the opposite… maybe i’m just not that great at getting my tone across in writing. if we were talking face to face, i feel like you’d probably read my intention way better.
after reading your message, i went back through your carrd again and realized i’d missed few parts the first time, so i reread those too. i also noticed there are fics from your old acc that i’ve never read before — i looked through the tags and there’s even squid game one in there?? WOW i’m absolutely going to devour those.
i’m talking way back, like 2013–2018, when a lot of writers posted on tumblr instead of ao3 — and then, obviously, after tumblr’s infamous censorship mess most of them migrated over there. honestly, tumblr still feels more intimate to me somehow. people were having discourse around sensitive subjects like this even back then, and i remember readers of stories with really heavy tags openly talking about being queer or survivors of r@pe/abuse/SA and how fiction could feel like a refuge for them. for some people being able to engage with certain things entirely through fiction, on their own terms and under their own control, can make them feel safer. and there are people who simply don’t have access to a better or healthier coping outlet. maybe there’s a parallel to be made on the creator’s side too, but even if you weren’t formally educated in any of this, i still don’t think you’d inherently owe anyone that level of responsibility. i have pretty complicated feelings about this in general — especially about the way art can separate itself from the artist and exist on its own terms. i think being able to hold those two things apart matters, and that distinction is worth preserving.
but even as someone who reads this kind of fiction, i don’t really feel like it’s my place to speak too confidently on behalf of people with trauma. i don’t have that kind of trauma myself, and if saying it that way comes across as patronizing, i’m sorry in advance. what i mean is, if there’s no obvious event in my past that explains why i’m drawn to certain things, and i still knowingly seek them out and enjoy them, i don’t necessarily feel the need to excavate some hidden wound behind every darker impulse or taboo desire. of course, you actually have a psychology degree, so your perspective on all of this is probably much more informed and nuanced than mine. but personally, i’ve never really bought into the idea that every kink or fantasy needs to be traced back to some defining event in the past. i definitely haven’t read enough theory to start playing armchair psychoanalyst, and honestly, sometimes i just enjoy characters who are terrible people. i don’t need to internalize them, justify them, or empathize with them for that to work for me. and even if some of it had been romanticized, i don’t think that would’ve been a huge issue for me either.
i hadn’t actually made any assumptions about your sexuality or gender identity, but i’m glad you’re not straight xd. sexually i’m pan but romantically i’m actually homoromantic, and i honestly wouldn’t open up to a cishet man about the kinds of feelings and fantasies i told you about. unfortunately, even men i consider pretty reasonable can still default to a patriarchal mindset at the end of the day and weaponize something vulnerable i shared with them against me. i’m sure there are exceptions, obviously, but finding one feels almost entirely down to luck. secret affair tae might’ve managed to snatch that one in a million person in every universe
also, even without a dick i’m pretty sure you’d say ten times worse than jungkook ever did and still somehow pull it off :))
i’m excited for your new fics!! i love slice of life when it centers flawed characters and actually lets the relationship stay messy and complicated. i don’t usually read much jikook, but your couples are always an exception for me.
thank u again ── 🍎
Yes, on my old account I wrote a squid game fic. It was also a large form of trying to attempt dead dove, but I don't think I am the best at writing gay sex. I was so into Squid Game after Season One back in the day, and Gong Yoo is eternally one of the best actors ever.
Highly agreed with you there, anon. The sharing bit was just that I do understand some of my heavier works through the ptsd lens like Lapse of Normality or my After We End series. There's nothing specifically about my trauma I cathartically write, and I know it's a lot of writers around here doing it for agency but I am not one of those people. I just want to say I am in agreement with you, there does not need to be any pathologizing on writers for kinks, or dead dove, etc. - and I don't think psychoanalyzing characters or the authors help anyone but their own morally questionable circumstances. I am actually starting a new building block for myself in current therapy because after a lot of years, one thing people misperception everything is trauma, and that's not entirely true. There's a lot about me that does not or ever felt related to trauma, not even somatically, and those can be jarring when you're told how you should feel versus what is actually true for the individual. I have a lot of differences of opinions when it comes to the dark side of writing and the armchairs of everyone who has something negative or psychoanalytic to say.
And on identity, yeah, I still don't think I fully have one in that department much. I was just a little compelled to share, not something you asked. I know. But, yeah - sharing can come at a cost a lot of times. I think it's a little complex, if JK in Secret Affair felt some jealousy or using it as punishment and or enjoyment, too late now to decide how I could have further put him involved but yeah...
Fanfiction allows people to have their own world, and it seems you enjoyed the acceptance of Tae there in the story. And that's great for you! :) - Oh, what is slice of life? A fanfiction? or was that just a little blurb? I'm not sure. But yeah, you like taekook or what pairings over jikook? I like Jikook visually, and I prefer to have JK the center and or top character because I think my writing is centered around male tv characters that influence specific dark stories. So for me it's visuals, and maybe I like the way Jimin rolls off the tongue more. I think if and when in some later months of feeling better, I could see more dynamics in my work but appreciate you finding it as an exception. I don't do shipping wars (not aiming that at you), but I actually write a lot of pairings in the past, and get quite a lot of odd comments (i deleted) because people dislike jikook but eh, I always try to tell people that is largely my preference, it does not mean I dislike any pairings etc. or never wrote them. Anyways, I am just blabbing lmao.
Thanks for chatting, and giving me more insight of your experience reading my work.