I honestly can't remember if I've talked about this publicly or not, I really prefer to let readers believe the version they want to believe, but if you really want to know:

cw:: spoilers for malaise trap
I wrote this fic with it in mind that it was NJ that JK loved, but it was a young puppy love, and NJ ultimately was not well suited to stepping up/fighting for/whatever you want to call it when it came time. He got in his head and considered it self sacrificial to step aside at the end. It was SJ's perseverance that, over time, made JK find some sort of peace with what happened and how things turned out, and eventually, their bond became complete as JK fell in love with SJ.