i think when it came to me writing that fic in particular, having the idol verse setting really helped to sort of set a base level of how i wanted to write them. for sullhoon i really was just having fun with it SKDJDJDJ especially since the entire fic was based around a) the title & b) what’s written in the summery. it was bound to be a little silly and delve into a not strict in-character pov.

but i don’t think i really consciously try to write them differently depending on gender. id say id still be happy with how ive written them in that fic if you switched the genders/pronouns back over. there are times where because they’re male (and not real) i allow myself to be a little far-fetched with how i make them act/behave. i do separate nmixx and yaoimixx (?) in my head as different ppl/identities but still try to keep them relatively linked as to them not becoming entirely different people. it’s also just a matter of me liking yaoi being written with a certain sort of vibe that kinda ties into everything. shits and giggles all around.

since I’ve own ever properly dug into jjyuahz as yaoi-fied and no one else, im not entirely sure in how I’d approach everyone else. it would definitely be ship dependant, since that’s usually how I decide over dynamic and personalities before writing. himbo lily has however whispered into my ear before.

(though i will say i sort of ran with the - that moment when you’re in a homoerotic friendship that leads to you touching each other sometimes but never addressing it because neither of you know if the other is gay like that or just horny and desperate - for sullhoon and jiwook. they’re gay! and also a little lost! they’ll get there eventually. thank you for liking my writing! ❤️❤️)

on a literal writing basis it sort of changes with every new fic i post - "catch and release" currently being what i think is my 'best' if that makes sense. i haven't had that much fun writing a fic in a while because it's so. stupid. and trying to gauge kyujin's personality from a pairing dynamic standpoint that isn't exactly familiar was entertaining to mess around with

but on an actual personal level it'd probably be "focus" because jwk speaks to me on a spiritual level and i like writing about trans stuff. which i think is very obvious but that's besides the point. it's longer (the bar is low) for what i usually write and i did a lot of thinking from yoona's perspective on how him and his changes would change her and how they interact. very enjoyable two months-ish of my life

i think one of the ways i make sense of it is the fact they wouldn't exist if it weren't for them as a group in the first place. in the case of me writing about jwk frequently: i didn't have that name until that one behind the scenes video where they spoke about it, and so bc it's a thing nmixx formed themselves it feels attached to them. as well i think there's also a level of suspension of disbelief where sure, visually i know i'm not directly writing jinsol when writing, say eddie for example, but i know eddie exists off the back of jinsol and therefore is technically jinsol.

in the times where i have thought about writing prom party specifically, they already had their own sort of personalities (austin being referred to as misfit, travis football captain, bella and eddie not gaf-ing about eachother whatsoever etc.) which id try to present in a fic. to me, they exist as an extension of nmixx - a chance to mess around with personality, dialogue, character interaction and so on, even if it isn't strictly 'right'.

the saja boys thing is sort of different in the sense that they were mocking the literal ones for a joke bit and didn't really expand on it further. in the case of using the names for genderswap reasons, take "garden of eden" for example, while writing jiwook i was also running the dialogue through my head as if i was normally writing jiwoo to see if it would make sense, but also changing some bits to fit the jiwook-ness of it.

the appeal, at least from a writer perspective, is just being able to do something different or fun that isn't overly serious. ofc i could write a yaoi fic that is serious and is meant to have the same sort of care and weight id put into a f/f fic, it'd just be that id write them as guys. i don't expect genderswap, m/m, or f/m nmixx to be liked by everyone - it is kinda just a niche i personally enjoy and find that a handful of others around me also enjoy. and that's maybe why im okay with them not being direct translations of nmixx and being their own 'things'; bc they sort of are their own things. i think ive been in this line of thinking for long enough where i can go "that's so jiwook" to one thing and "that's so jiwoo" to another. it's a feel thing. sort of.

i wouldn’t say I prefer m/m over f/f because i definitely prefer f/f more but in the context of enmiks specifically it’s just silly (for me). the big thing being them having their “gender swapped” counterparts given from content (prom party & saja boys) that technically i can write about. it’s basically a thing of having more range and opportunities to write weirder or just different scenarios and combos of people that normally I wouldn’t think of. (also like, transgenderism, a little. i dont know how to elaborate this one it’s just personal DKDJDJDJD)

the other part of it is me enjoying m/m pairings generally 😭 i only write for nmixx and if i feel like writing a pairing where they’re both dudes could be funny ill probably go ahead and do that. even then I wouldn’t even say the genderswap thing is strict to m/m; i also don’t mind f/m either because of possibility combinations etc. (bella and eddie 🤞)

it’s fun doing all of this since, at the end of the day, they’re still technically nmixx and thats the only thing i really care about :3

very much both drawn from irl experiences! it's nice to see things that i personally experience or deal with in writing imo (hence trans jwk & nd lily). the jwk thing only really came around from the blue valentine chaos concept pictures (bless that beautiful wig) which sort of started my descent into writing him a lot. he's kind of my own little critter that i douse in water and blast the transgender beam onto. it's wonderful.

the nd lily only really came around because, at the time, i was having a genuine breakdown and needed to write something to clear my head 😭 autism is just so lovely. hah. ive thought about writing her again, but id probably need to find myself in the right headspace to really sit down and think about it

even with most of what i write coming from personal experience, i still do check with friends about whether my depictions make sense and are actually accurate :3 yuri discussion table