Here you go! ☺️

Ellipsus link: https://ellipsus.com/read/4wXjq3ZoeDs1nk5rRgklbm/this-baby-is-kicking-my-ass?theme=cinemaVerite

Text:

As Gyuvin waved goodbye to the last of the baby shower guests, Ricky watched from his seat on the couch. He was surrounded by half-unwrapped gifts, packaging materials, paper plates laden with half-eaten food, plastic cups, and the remnants of the various baby shower games that Gyuvin had organized and led (with help from his sister).

Ricky’s body was exhausted. He was seven months pregnant, and it was getting more difficult by the day to do the things that used to be so easy. It even felt tiresome to track Gyuvin’s movements as Gyuvin closed the front door, locked it, and approached Ricky, taking a seat next to him on the couch.

Gyuvin was glowing, absolutely overflowing with joy. And that made perfect sense to Ricky. Gyuvin wasn’t seven months pregnant; he could still move well and sleep well and eat anything he wanted without issue, same as ever. It was starting to bother Ricky, the way Gyuvin wasn’t suffering physically as much as Ricky was. It was a truly illogical resentment, and Ricky tried his best to ignore it, but he wasn't able to make it go away.

“That went well, don’t you think?” Gyuvin beamed, laying his large hand over Ricky’s, which was resting at the top of Ricky’s baby bump. Ricky just sat there, motionless, closing his eyes.

Gyuvin immediately responded with concern. “Hey, Rwik?” Gyuvin rested his other hand on Ricky’s thigh, folding one long leg up onto the couch so he could face Ricky more fully. “Is something wrong? Did… did I do something? Did my mom say something?”

Ricky sighed, shaking his head. Gyuvin’s mom, though someone Ricky loved very much, was proving to be a bit on the overbearing side lately. With four children of her own, she had a lot of opinions about pregnancy and child-rearing, and she was not afraid to share them. Ricky found it rather stressful to be on the receiving end of these opinions, as so many of them weren’t totally in alignment with his and Gyuvin’s own. Thankfully, Gyuvin’s mom had been too distracted by the family, activities, and food at the baby shower to strike up an extended conversation with Ricky today. As for Gyuvin himself, he hadn’t done anything specifically wrong, other than not being as pregnant as Ricky was.

“No, no. Nothing like that. I’m just… I don’t know.” What Ricky said was partially the truth. So many things felt wrong, but also not wrong, but also kind of wrong, but also not really wrong, but also… also… also… Ricky’s head was a mess.

Gyuvin tilted his head forward, staring at the long eyelashes that were casting shadows on Ricky’s dark under-eye circles. Ricky hadn’t been sleeping well lately, even with the special body pillow they’d gotten him online; the one that Gyuvin was definitely jealous of, since it had taken his place in Ricky’s arms every night.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Gyuvin asked.

“No... I don’t know,” Ricky murmured softly.

Gyuvin sighed, but he clearly wasn’t upset. His voice was sweet and loving when he replied, “You’re gonna make me guess, aren’t you?”

Ricky shrugged, but his small smile betrayed him. Dammit. His husband really was his husband for a reason.

Gyuvin hummed thoughtfully. “You want me to… bring you some iced tea, clean everything up, make us dinner, run you a bath, and then give you a full body massage. Am I close?”

Ricky nodded, turning his head towards Gyuvin. “Yeah… And what else?”

Gyuvin responded in a playfully incredulous tone, “Wait, there’s more?!”

Ricky’s eyebrows raised, his eyes widening. “What did you just say to me?” His voice was dark and low, like he was daring Gyuvin to repeat himself.

Gyuvin heard Ricky loud and clear, bowing his head and blushing. He really was such a good puppy, Ricky had to admit.

“Sorry, sorry,” Gyuvin laughed, brushing his thumb over the back of Ricky’s hand. “What I meant to say was, what else can I do for you?”

“Hm… I’ll figure it out. Just get started with what you already said. I need to rest.” Ricky yawned, as if on cue.

Gyuvin smiled warmly. “Here on the couch?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I’ll go get you your tea and bring you some more pillows and blankets!”

And just like that, Gyuvin was darting off to the kitchen, his long legs as deer-like as ever.

Ricky sighed and closed his eyes, taking controlled breaths as he tried to ignore the way the muscles and joints of his back and torso twinged in response to the baby’s sudden movements. Lately, the baby had been desperate to show him just how many cool kicks they could do. (Ricky and Gyuvin were purposefully waiting until the birth to know the sex of their baby, since they felt like it would be more fun that way. Ricky was calling their baby “baby” and “aegi” and “baobei” in the meantime, while Gyuvin had given their baby so many nicknames at this point, Ricky couldn’t even pretend to remember them all. Gyuvin’s favorite these days was ‘wǒmen dí bǎobèi xiǎo māo mī’ (our precious little kitty), which Ricky told him didn’t make sense, because the only xiǎo māo in their household was Ricky himself. Gyuvin argued that the baby might look like a mini Ricky, in which case it would be ludicrous not to use the nickname. Ricky ultimately gave in and agreed, because his husband had a point.)

“Here you go, wǒ de xiǎo māo,” Gyuvin said, and Ricky looked up, having zoned out for a moment. Ricky grabbed the bottle of ice tea Gyuvin held out to him and took a sip through the straw. On the couch, Gyuvin started arranging the pillows he'd brought from their bed, then draped a blanket over Ricky.

“Can I get you anything else before I start cleaning?” Gyuvin asked.

Ricky laughed halfheartedly. “Tell our baby to stop kicking so much… We get it,” Ricky looked down at his belly, addressing the baby directly, “you’re a natural athlete, just like your father. Now, please, for the love of God, stop.”

Gyuvin giggled and knelt down in front of Ricky, pressing his ear gently to his stomach. He nodded, making some “uh-huhs” and “ahhs” of understanding. He leaned back, patting Ricky’s stomach as he said, “Sorry, Rwik. Our baby just told me that they want to be the next global soccer star, and the only way they can get there is if they start training right now.”

Ricky just stared at Gyuvin. Gyuvin leaned in again and pretended to whisper something to the baby. Gyuvin pulled back and pursed his lips, nodding. “I told them to only worry about soccer after they learn how to walk. They said they’ll do their best.”

Ricky smiled and rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

Gyuvin snapped into sudden remembrance. “Oh! Do you want me to get you your heating pad and some pain meds? Your back must be hurting.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

Gyuvin trotted off, returning soon thereafter with the electric heating pad and pain medicine that had been in their bedroom from last night. Once Ricky had taken some pain meds and had the heating pad warming up his back, Gyuvin got to work cleaning up the house of all baby shower remnants.

Gyuvin had promised Ricky, prior to Ricky getting pregnant, that Gyuvin would do all of the chores whenever Ricky was pregnant in the future; that Ricky would never have to lift a finger. Admittedly, Ricky hadn’t believed him, and assumed that Gyuvin was just saying it because it sounded like the right thing to say. As it turned out, Gyuvin wasn’t bluffing. Not once had Ricky done a household chore while pregnant, and he was very grateful for that.

Ricky watched Gyuvin move around the room, his body so free and unhindered, and Ricky’s jaw clenched unconsciously. He went from happy and grateful for his husband’s acts of service, to suddenly stricken with frustration towards him—total whiplash.

Ricky closed his eyes, trying to ignore the tears that were starting to sting in his nose as his thoughts began to spiral with questions: When would he get to move like that freely? When would he get to feel that comfortable again? What if this pregnancy never ended? What if he was just going to be in pain, and huge, and exhausted, and swollen, and hormonal... forever? What if—

“Hey,” Gyuvin called out. He was just about to carry some trash to the outdoor bins, when he noticed that Ricky wasn’t looking very well. Gyuvin set down the garbage bags by the front door and came over to the couch. “How you doing, baby?”

Ricky’s lips trembled, and he spat the first words that came to his tongue, voice quiet but intense: “Not as good as you are, that’s for sure.”

“What?” Gyuvin was confused, but as soon as he saw tears start to spill down Ricky’s cheeks, he seemed to understand that this was yet another instance of Ricky’s hormones fucking with his emotions.

“Oh, Rwik,” Gyuvin frowned empathetically. “Why are you crying, kitty?”

“I hate your stupid body! Look at you! You move like you don’t care about me at all!” Ricky sniffled, wiping his mouth and nose directly on the throw pillow in front of him. Normally he hated being so gross, but he didn’t care right now.

Gyuvin looked down at his own body—which was, of course, not stupid—and looked back up. “I’m sorry you’re so upset... What can I—”

“Just go away! I don’t want to see you!” Ricky heard himself yelling, and then he started to sob. Gyuvin approached, sitting next to him on the couch and quietly allowing Ricky to express whatever he needed to express.

“I don’t want to be pregnant anymore,” Ricky admitted as he sobbed. “I don’t want to feel this way… Fuck! Why did you have to get me pregnant, Qubing? Why did you have to come inside me and get me pregnant?!”

Gyuvin just sat there in silence, eyebrows furrowed as Ricky continued to cry, his hands clasped tightly in his lap.

“Well?!” Ricky cried. "Answer!"

Gyuvin looked at him, eyes shining. He didn't say a word, just held Ricky's eyes with all the love in the world.

“Fuck!” Ricky groaned, and he kept crying, tipping sideways and hiding his face in the pillows Gyuvin had set up for him. Ricky went on like that for a little while, but eventually, he was able to calm down.

After taking some deep breaths, Ricky said, “I’m sorry, Gyu… I’m just so tired.”

“I know, jagi. It’s okay. Do you want me to get you some food? Water?”

“Food.”

“What kind of food?”

Ricky sniffled. “Pizza.”

“I’ll have to order it. Is that okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

After Gyuvin finished ordering the pizza, he started gently massaging Ricky’s feet, which were in his lap.

“So cute,” Gyuvin said, smiling as he tugged on each of Ricky’s swollen toes. “Everything about my Ricky is so cute.”

“Hm… I’m glad you think so,” Ricky grumbled, but he felt a lot less overwhelmed than he did just a few minutes ago. “I’m sorry, Gyu… I don’t regret having a baby with you.” Ricky started to get choked up, this time for a different reason. As he sobbed again, he felt Gyuvin’s hand on his stomach, holding Ricky and their baby all at once. “I’m so glad that we’re having a baby together. I’m so, so happy.”

“Me too, Rwik... I love you,” Gyuvin said, and it sounded like he was on the verge of tears.

“I love you, too," Ricky replied.

Ricky covered Gyuvin’s hand on his stomach with his own. Their baby kicked, as if trying to get involved in the sweet moment, and Ricky winced.

“That was a big one,” Gyuvin noted, and Ricky nodded, trying to breathe calmly. “I’m putting them on the soccer field, straight away.”

Ricky smiled. “I hope they kick your ass out there.”

“They better!” Gyuvin agreed, and they both laughed.

Ricky felt his pain subsiding, thanks to the pain pills, the heat of the heating pad, and the warmth of all the love he felt, inside and out.

Everything was going to be okay, no matter what, because he and Gyuvin had each other.