a curious person · 19d
i dont rlly know how to explain it but i've noticed that xz has an odd spectrum when viewing a man's gender role. he once told yb that makeup isn't really a "man" thing to which yb refutes this (and says its what he has to do as an idol) and another time, he once told baby a-yuan's actor that a man shouldn't cry.
xz, who is a man, has said comments like this but he is also a man that said that him receiving more compliments like "beautiful/pretty" rather than "handsome" is fine w him; he's a man who has never once refused to be called xiao-meiren etc. we can clearly see that he is quite secure in his masculinity and femininity. this is in no way hating on him, i just find it very interesting that his scale of masculinity is on both the far ends of the spectrum, how do you understand/feel about this?
hi anon!! can i just say that i lit up like a child on christmas morning when i saw this come in because one of my majors was gender studies hsfhdsjdfshs thank you for this ask 🥹
the way i see it is gender norms like masculinity and femininity are inherently concepts, and like all concepts, that means they are three things: a) fluid; b) layered; and c) susceptible to interpretation and influence.
because it's human nature to want to define something clearly (so that the brain can process things more easily), we naturally try our best to divide these layers and box them up into a set number of traits. just as an example to illustrate: the stereotypes of traditional masculinity include being stoic, assertive, a logical thinker vs. soft masculinity leaning more towards empathy, communication, emotional intelligence, etc.
but humans, like life, are never that simple or straightforward :') it's not like these traits are bundled together in a fixed "set package" that you subscribe to! people will mix and match on their own — it's entirely possible for someone to think being A Real Man means having high emotional intelligence and a kind heart, but also needing to be beefybot999 with muscles for days. likewise, it's possible for someone to think men have to be the breadwinner (traditional masculine provider concept), but that they should also share in the house work (traditional feminine role).
that's why i think a spectrum isn't the most accurate way to see this! because a spectrum implies you must inhabit a single spot on the spectrum at any one time, but that's not how life works, right!! you can be many things at once, and these things could be polarising concepts.
another thing that these definitions don't account for is that we are all a product of our environments! and i think this plays a huge part in what you were describing re: xz:
it's not like i grew up with xz (SHDSHDJS 😭) but i think, at least from observation, that he grew up in a supportive but fairly strict family, and a fairly standard asian environment. we've all heard of the Asian Dad Of Few Words stereotype — it's super common in asian cultures for boomer-era parents to tell their sons that "real men don't cry". it's hard to describe, but in fact!! sometimes people think it's just easier to enforce discipline that way, "threatening" children with the loss of something that is inherently theirs (masculinity) if they don't behave. if you've grown up in an asian culture, you probably also know that, whether consciously or unconsciously, older asian folks do buy into traditional gender roles. they too are a product of their environments, which weren't as open about this as we are now, but that is a conversation for another day!!!
i think inevitably xz carries with him some of these things that are just so ingrained and normalised in society growing up. but he is also a young man who grew into himself in many different environments — when in school, when in university, when living apart from his parents for the first time, when making a name for himself as an idol, an occupation that sometimes challenges traditional gender norms, etc.
i'm sure xz, just like anyone else, has made and remade his understanding of gender and sexuality into what it is today, drawing from his varied experiences / environments / phases of life and changing ways of seeing the world c:
