oh!! hello anon ;o; firstly, that's very kind, thank you so much ♡

the ask is definitely not too personal! i don't know if this necessarily counts as advice, much less Big Sister Advice, because it's more of how i personally see the world...?

if i had to narrow down how i try to stay calm(er), i think it's because i really think words have power. it is so, so normal and so, so understandable to be upset on xz and yb's behalf at the kind of injustices they've generally had to face throughout their careers — we're all only human — but when people are fuelled by anger, they tend to use really strong choice words in the moment. and i feel that doesn't necessarily reflect well on the people they claim to be protecting :')

so often, fans jump to the defence of their idols because "if i don't, then who will?"

i was there once! i was super involved in kpop spaces, to the point where i felt a slight against my idol was a slight against me.

but this trigger-happy response is not only super exhausting in an industry like this where shit boils over every day, it makes it so that sometimes the idols have to clean up a bigger mess, or a mess that wasn't even there to begin with. like at wbn, a lot of the initial anger was from audience members speculating about movement they saw on the ground and started pointing fingers at this celebrity or that celebrity when there was no way anyone besides event staff would've known what was happening. and how does that help him, when he already has a billion other things to be worrying about, first-hand, at an event as chaotic as that one shdfjhsjfhs

i'm not saying that people shouldn't speak out on behalf of them, especially when we all know they get put through the wringer for absolutely nothing sometimes 💀 but not in the way that so many people do in the heat of the moment: so desperate to push blame off their idols that they end up pushing it onto others, without really thinking about how that might reflect on xz and yb as people in an industry that is all about maintaining at least functional working relationships.

SO ALL THIS CONTEXT IS TO SAY THAT

my calm (???) probably stems from me believing that xz and yb, who have worked tirelessly to surround themselves with competent people that THEY trust to run their careers with them, aren't some damsels in distress that need validation for suffering some great injustice. they do a job, do it pretty damn well, and sure as hell know when and how to bite back in the future — always with a polite PR smile on their faces 🙂‍↕️ (xz at least. HAHA)

and as for me, on this silly little bird app that they will never read, maybe i can be a little humorous about it ("can you believe we're asking them to just sit down?").

maybe i can find meaning in other things (how their onstage interactions show they are deeply cherished by so many colleagues; how being backstage just means they can play silly games without prying eyes).

this is a long race! and this lets their work and natural goodness shine through on their own ♡

and also like. it helps keep me sane!!! there is already so much negativity in every other part of life; why should fandom be a space where everyone constantly goes through the pain olympics instead of finding meaning in the thing that brought us all together in the first place? ;v; there's no point waiting for other people to change how they speak about these things, because i can't control other people, but i can control myself!