i hope u are doing well too!!! firstly i want to say... i totally understand u. i think a lot of other authors would understand u too.
firstlyyy there are lots of people who sometimes feel pressured to write smut bc they see how smut pops off while others don't often do. i almost added smut to my fic dandelion wish bc of it but thankfully i decided against it. when it comes to those kinds of things, i think writing is about what YOU want ur story to be. sometimes smut has a place and sometimes it doesn't.
secondly, i don't think u need to worry about english being ur second language. from you ask it's obvious you write well enough to express yourself and that's all you need (probably even less tbh). i come across a lot of non-english speakers who don't give themselves the credit they deserve for their english. i promise u that there are native english speakers who also struggle with english bc it's not easy!
n thirdly in terms of ur friends... sometimes friends might say nice things to u bc they don't want to hurt ur feelings but i find most of the time good friends will be honest with u - either way, u can just take them at their word!! OR u can find a beta reader too! but it's important whether it's ur friend or a beta reader to thoroughly understand their feedback and if it's not matching with what u expect or want then trust ur gut/instinct. unfortunately even if ur friends genuinely like ur works, it doesn't mean ur fic will be popular. it's the hard truth abt writing and posting ur fics for others (especially when u work hard) but if you truly enjoy writing, you will find a way to continue posting. u may surprise urself too!!
and lastlyyyyyyy, pls dont compare urself to other authors. i do it all the time so i know it's difficult. but, everyone has different lives. some people work ft and can't write as much as they want. some work ft but their job is lowkey so they can write on the job. some don't work or only work part time. some have families and lives so it's just writing when they can. some pull all nighters to write and some just write....very fast. sometimes it can look like people are posting a lot because of how many fics get posted so regularly, but a lot of authors that i follow post only a few fics a year and that's what suits them! some people also post chaptered fics so that they can regularly post (i do this lol). because writing does take so much time. also u are writing THREE FICS... that's impressive.
if u love writing, just write for ur love of it. if u need to take time to write, then do that. the moment u are starting to not enjoy writing anymore or trying to catch up to others is when u are gonna lose the special feelings you get from finishing something that you poured parts of yourself into. writing is such a vulnerable process and it's a gift when writers can share their works. i hope you don't let the worries stop you from doing something that could bring you happiness! tldr; yolo.

owhhh sorry i just saw this. thank u so much for sending ur thoughts on this <3 i think this is a really important point about ongoing fics, that tagging is sometimes not as clear as completed fics. i know some people aren't reading my current ongoing fic bc the themes are darker and i think that's a really valid response bc they are worried about the tags getting worse or even altered (like the happy ending tag). i even understand how it's easy to forget to update the tag list in that sense (plsplplspls tell me if i have forgotten to tag something important). that said, i think this also speaks to a broader thing of the fact that this can unfortunately happen with ANY fic (completed or ongoing). there are sadly lots of people out there who do not care about tagging triggering content, and that's so disappointing when fanfiction is meant to be a fun escape. really sorry that you felt so triggered by something you read - i hope you're taking care of yourself. <3 i always say if you're ever feeling unsure, i can't think of a single writer who would mind if you reached out to them just to check in about potential triggers. i obviously can't speak for everyone, but authors want you to read as much as they want to write, so if that's the only thing stopping you from reading ongoing fics, i really encourage you to reach out if the fic looks interesting to you :) this is a community after all <3